The damage of life, the healing of song

The damage of life, the healing of song

Thursday, August 19, 2010

TOUR OF PAIN Blog Postponed... No stories sent.

I started my blog about the greatest concert going experience/concert tour/friend making experience ever of my life (dM's 2001 tour) a few weeks ago. I was writing stories every day about the days and months leading up to that first show/party and I was going to do them all in real time; each day, exactly what happened. Unfortunately a few people havent sent me his/her story which killed the blog. Guys/Gals I need your stories. PLEASE. I can't tell this story correctly without your input. PLEASE, your input is Paramount.

I am going to start this again in November. With the Final NA Concert on Thanksgiving (which would be today).
Please submit your stories. PLEASE. (It doesnt take that long to start remembering/typing shit... guys, come on! I cant believe I actually have to ask. WE LIVE dM!) If you don't care about this just say so. If you do then send me your story! I know this matters to you.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Monday, August 2, 2010

TDOF&D Vs SGR

July '00 - September '01

As crazy as it may seem Message boards were pretty simple 10 years ago. Case in point Depeche Mode was on the WB multi-media board. Which means if you wanted to go to dM's board you'd have to click Music and then scroll down to the D section and then select dM. You were then on. Sadly some nights a single Blind Melon fan could be on and spam the forum 1,000 times making it useless for the night. However, most nights their parents (who I'm guessing were dM fans as well) put them to bed before any damage could be done. This is where I met my first real life crazy dM friends including some of my present day dM soul mates.

Two people that I met on the WB board were SGR (Tour of Pain - Head of Household for the L.A. & Anaheim shows) & Stuart. SGR, an acronym for Some Great Reward-dM's 4th studio album was pretty territorial to say the least. She had her devoted group of dM fans and they were all numbered. SGR 2, SGR 3 and so on. What can I say, the girl was super creative. SGR 'Lisa' thought she ruled the WB board. Her followers would jump on you hard core if you stepped out of line. In short I thought she was a douche bag. That's why I kinda dug her to be honest.

One guy who liked to regularly post some really funny and yes, kinda mean stuff on her posts was Stuart. Stuart was hilarious. We clicked immediately and we would harass SGR and her cronies nightly. After a month or so of constantly attacking each other (oh the good ol' days without "supervision") Stuart & I decided to start our own group. The Anti-SGR's if you will. After some serious discussion through scores of emails we came up with 'The Defenders of Faith & Devotion'. Our mission: to actually talk about dM's music and what it meant to us instead of playing bullshit games online. Oh and to harass the shit out of SGR and her group of shitheads.

One cool thing that Lisa didnt have that we did was that Stuart was a web designer in York, England. He created an actual TDOF&D website that rocked! After the website was up we posted the link on the WB board and in 10 days we had as many members as SGR. HA! (Yes, I know this is stupid, but it's important in terms of dM forum life so don't be all judging me and shit). Anyway, we were rolling. I had membership cards done and was sending them across the world to our 'members'. Stuart & I were the kings of the dMWB forum and SGR was broken.



During this entire war Lisa & I were emailing each other. Let's face it, I just love the whole clamour & glamour of a forum battle. IT'S FUCKING FUN! I had nothing against Lisa personally. We are all dM fans that's the bottom line. Now, Stuart and I were having a blast and truth be told half of SGR's people liked me & Stuart. They loved our group and a couple of them even joined. We had a name for people that were in both groups and I so can not remember what it was. Anyway, Lisa was actually a decent person and was genuinely hurt by the start-up of TDOF&D. After about 6 weeks of us just dominating her with our witty columns and retorts and our numbers growing to triple her "membership" she sent me an email in which she started talking about her rough childhood and insecurities and how dM was her tonic for a life full of super intense emotional aches. URGH. Seriously? This was supposed to be fun. Just cause we are funny and smarter than you don't go the hurt puppy route. I'm a sucker for the puppies! Eventhough this is what I was thinking I didn't say anything. I continued to be her friend. We continued talking about her life struggles and what dM meant to her via email for several more weeks.

Then, one night I emailed Stuart and told him I was going to join SGR's group. Duel Citizenship. Stuart knew I was talking to her this whole time but when I suggested this he lost his mind. I mean, FUCKING LOST IT! He loathed Lisa with a passion. So after a few emails he stopped emailing back. And the next day the kick-ass THE DEFENDERS OF FAITH & DEVOTION site had vanished. Repeated emails to Stuart saying, dude... WTF? This whole thing was for fun. Not one response. ]and married with a daughter. I was a gay guy in a relationship with my e

So that was it. TDOF&D was gone and I was now an honorary member of the SGR's. Again, I know it's stupid but some people really fucking take this shit to heart. And to be totally honest I did too. However when it comes to having bragging rights as the coolest group on a forum verse a girl's emotional state I'm going with the girl. Wow, I've never typed those words before.

So in the following months leading up to dM's Exciter NA Tour I continued to talk to Lisa. She was a seriously insecure person no doubt but she had a great heart. Our emails evolved into phone calls and then one weekend just a few weeks before dM were to hit Vegas and So-Cal I invited her out to Vegas to stay at my house and see Echo at the HOB. That weekend would prove to be, STRANGE.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Wbhen the wBody speaks

July '00 - April '01

DE-PECHE-MODE is so coming out with a new album! A NEW ALBUM! Not a double singles album. A NEW ALBUM! How long has it been since a body of new material? 5 YEARS. Still fucked-up DM-Spiritually after Alan's departure in '95 I am still all for Depeche Mode. The album Ultra was brilliant. Different? Yes. But fucking brilliant. And although the Singles Tour was not even close to anything I would have ever wanted to see DM do it was what was needed for all of the remaining band members. If you are reading this you know why.

Note: If you have read my blogs you know I don't rehash heartache: friend, band member, family member unless it is super vital to the particular blog. And then if so it is with the utmost respect. Please refer to the first blog for my rules.

So I am going online everynight on the old Depeche Mode website which wasn't an official site at all it was on the old WB board. Many bands were linked from here so it was a great place to talk about your favourite band. I was up there everynight (morning)and met some really amazing people. Two especially great people Dawn & Lauren were constants. We talked non-stop about all things mode and soon after were emailing like mad men & women.

The still title-less Exciter was 4 months from release and I was checking everyday on Depechemode.tv, Napster and one other site. Nothing ever happened. Always the notice of 'Not today' 'No Results' or the horrible 'I don't think so'. Pretty disheartening but I don't give up on Depeche Mode. The songs are there to be found. I NEED THEM to be, if for no other reason so I can buy 20 copies and give them out to my non- DM friends and convert them which I have done with every DM album release. So one day, February 25th (5am), after work I start my search on all the sites. Site #1. Not Today. Site #2. When the Body Speaks-Depeche Mode. Uh.......

By 8am I had the entire Exciter album. By that time I had also listened to When The Body Speaks in it's imperfect form for the 20 somethingth time. I knew it by heart. It would go on to become my favourite track off Exciter and one of my all-time DM favs but I never knew that it would also be the silent lighthouse blinking warning of a potentially unfaithful boyfriend who would crush trust after 5 years and break a real bond 6 months later while I was in Los Angeles during The Tour of Pain. Literally giving meaning to when the body speaks. His own body anyway.



TOUR OF PAIN EPIC CONTINUED TOMORROW & EVERDAY UNTIL AUGUST 19TH (The Final Day of the EXCITER North American Tour) PROLOUGE ON September 11th.