I started my blog about the greatest concert going experience/concert tour/friend making experience ever of my life (dM's 2001 tour) a few weeks ago. I was writing stories every day about the days and months leading up to that first show/party and I was going to do them all in real time; each day, exactly what happened. Unfortunately a few people havent sent me his/her story which killed the blog. Guys/Gals I need your stories. PLEASE. I can't tell this story correctly without your input. PLEASE, your input is Paramount.
I am going to start this again in November. With the Final NA Concert on Thanksgiving (which would be today).
Please submit your stories. PLEASE. (It doesnt take that long to start remembering/typing shit... guys, come on! I cant believe I actually have to ask. WE LIVE dM!) If you don't care about this just say so. If you do then send me your story! I know this matters to you.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Monday, August 2, 2010
TDOF&D Vs SGR
July '00 - September '01
As crazy as it may seem Message boards were pretty simple 10 years ago. Case in point Depeche Mode was on the WB multi-media board. Which means if you wanted to go to dM's board you'd have to click Music and then scroll down to the D section and then select dM. You were then on. Sadly some nights a single Blind Melon fan could be on and spam the forum 1,000 times making it useless for the night. However, most nights their parents (who I'm guessing were dM fans as well) put them to bed before any damage could be done. This is where I met my first real life crazy dM friends including some of my present day dM soul mates.
Two people that I met on the WB board were SGR (Tour of Pain - Head of Household for the L.A. & Anaheim shows) & Stuart. SGR, an acronym for Some Great Reward-dM's 4th studio album was pretty territorial to say the least. She had her devoted group of dM fans and they were all numbered. SGR 2, SGR 3 and so on. What can I say, the girl was super creative. SGR 'Lisa' thought she ruled the WB board. Her followers would jump on you hard core if you stepped out of line. In short I thought she was a douche bag. That's why I kinda dug her to be honest.
One guy who liked to regularly post some really funny and yes, kinda mean stuff on her posts was Stuart. Stuart was hilarious. We clicked immediately and we would harass SGR and her cronies nightly. After a month or so of constantly attacking each other (oh the good ol' days without "supervision") Stuart & I decided to start our own group. The Anti-SGR's if you will. After some serious discussion through scores of emails we came up with 'The Defenders of Faith & Devotion'. Our mission: to actually talk about dM's music and what it meant to us instead of playing bullshit games online. Oh and to harass the shit out of SGR and her group of shitheads.
One cool thing that Lisa didnt have that we did was that Stuart was a web designer in York, England. He created an actual TDOF&D website that rocked! After the website was up we posted the link on the WB board and in 10 days we had as many members as SGR. HA! (Yes, I know this is stupid, but it's important in terms of dM forum life so don't be all judging me and shit). Anyway, we were rolling. I had membership cards done and was sending them across the world to our 'members'. Stuart & I were the kings of the dMWB forum and SGR was broken.
During this entire war Lisa & I were emailing each other. Let's face it, I just love the whole clamour & glamour of a forum battle. IT'S FUCKING FUN! I had nothing against Lisa personally. We are all dM fans that's the bottom line. Now, Stuart and I were having a blast and truth be told half of SGR's people liked me & Stuart. They loved our group and a couple of them even joined. We had a name for people that were in both groups and I so can not remember what it was. Anyway, Lisa was actually a decent person and was genuinely hurt by the start-up of TDOF&D. After about 6 weeks of us just dominating her with our witty columns and retorts and our numbers growing to triple her "membership" she sent me an email in which she started talking about her rough childhood and insecurities and how dM was her tonic for a life full of super intense emotional aches. URGH. Seriously? This was supposed to be fun. Just cause we are funny and smarter than you don't go the hurt puppy route. I'm a sucker for the puppies! Eventhough this is what I was thinking I didn't say anything. I continued to be her friend. We continued talking about her life struggles and what dM meant to her via email for several more weeks.
Then, one night I emailed Stuart and told him I was going to join SGR's group. Duel Citizenship. Stuart knew I was talking to her this whole time but when I suggested this he lost his mind. I mean, FUCKING LOST IT! He loathed Lisa with a passion. So after a few emails he stopped emailing back. And the next day the kick-ass THE DEFENDERS OF FAITH & DEVOTION site had vanished. Repeated emails to Stuart saying, dude... WTF? This whole thing was for fun. Not one response. ]and married with a daughter. I was a gay guy in a relationship with my e
So that was it. TDOF&D was gone and I was now an honorary member of the SGR's. Again, I know it's stupid but some people really fucking take this shit to heart. And to be totally honest I did too. However when it comes to having bragging rights as the coolest group on a forum verse a girl's emotional state I'm going with the girl. Wow, I've never typed those words before.
So in the following months leading up to dM's Exciter NA Tour I continued to talk to Lisa. She was a seriously insecure person no doubt but she had a great heart. Our emails evolved into phone calls and then one weekend just a few weeks before dM were to hit Vegas and So-Cal I invited her out to Vegas to stay at my house and see Echo at the HOB. That weekend would prove to be, STRANGE.
As crazy as it may seem Message boards were pretty simple 10 years ago. Case in point Depeche Mode was on the WB multi-media board. Which means if you wanted to go to dM's board you'd have to click Music and then scroll down to the D section and then select dM. You were then on. Sadly some nights a single Blind Melon fan could be on and spam the forum 1,000 times making it useless for the night. However, most nights their parents (who I'm guessing were dM fans as well) put them to bed before any damage could be done. This is where I met my first real life crazy dM friends including some of my present day dM soul mates.
Two people that I met on the WB board were SGR (Tour of Pain - Head of Household for the L.A. & Anaheim shows) & Stuart. SGR, an acronym for Some Great Reward-dM's 4th studio album was pretty territorial to say the least. She had her devoted group of dM fans and they were all numbered. SGR 2, SGR 3 and so on. What can I say, the girl was super creative. SGR 'Lisa' thought she ruled the WB board. Her followers would jump on you hard core if you stepped out of line. In short I thought she was a douche bag. That's why I kinda dug her to be honest.
One guy who liked to regularly post some really funny and yes, kinda mean stuff on her posts was Stuart. Stuart was hilarious. We clicked immediately and we would harass SGR and her cronies nightly. After a month or so of constantly attacking each other (oh the good ol' days without "supervision") Stuart & I decided to start our own group. The Anti-SGR's if you will. After some serious discussion through scores of emails we came up with 'The Defenders of Faith & Devotion'. Our mission: to actually talk about dM's music and what it meant to us instead of playing bullshit games online. Oh and to harass the shit out of SGR and her group of shitheads.
One cool thing that Lisa didnt have that we did was that Stuart was a web designer in York, England. He created an actual TDOF&D website that rocked! After the website was up we posted the link on the WB board and in 10 days we had as many members as SGR. HA! (Yes, I know this is stupid, but it's important in terms of dM forum life so don't be all judging me and shit). Anyway, we were rolling. I had membership cards done and was sending them across the world to our 'members'. Stuart & I were the kings of the dMWB forum and SGR was broken.
During this entire war Lisa & I were emailing each other. Let's face it, I just love the whole clamour & glamour of a forum battle. IT'S FUCKING FUN! I had nothing against Lisa personally. We are all dM fans that's the bottom line. Now, Stuart and I were having a blast and truth be told half of SGR's people liked me & Stuart. They loved our group and a couple of them even joined. We had a name for people that were in both groups and I so can not remember what it was. Anyway, Lisa was actually a decent person and was genuinely hurt by the start-up of TDOF&D. After about 6 weeks of us just dominating her with our witty columns and retorts and our numbers growing to triple her "membership" she sent me an email in which she started talking about her rough childhood and insecurities and how dM was her tonic for a life full of super intense emotional aches. URGH. Seriously? This was supposed to be fun. Just cause we are funny and smarter than you don't go the hurt puppy route. I'm a sucker for the puppies! Eventhough this is what I was thinking I didn't say anything. I continued to be her friend. We continued talking about her life struggles and what dM meant to her via email for several more weeks.
Then, one night I emailed Stuart and told him I was going to join SGR's group. Duel Citizenship. Stuart knew I was talking to her this whole time but when I suggested this he lost his mind. I mean, FUCKING LOST IT! He loathed Lisa with a passion. So after a few emails he stopped emailing back. And the next day the kick-ass THE DEFENDERS OF FAITH & DEVOTION site had vanished. Repeated emails to Stuart saying, dude... WTF? This whole thing was for fun. Not one response. ]and married with a daughter. I was a gay guy in a relationship with my e
So that was it. TDOF&D was gone and I was now an honorary member of the SGR's. Again, I know it's stupid but some people really fucking take this shit to heart. And to be totally honest I did too. However when it comes to having bragging rights as the coolest group on a forum verse a girl's emotional state I'm going with the girl. Wow, I've never typed those words before.
So in the following months leading up to dM's Exciter NA Tour I continued to talk to Lisa. She was a seriously insecure person no doubt but she had a great heart. Our emails evolved into phone calls and then one weekend just a few weeks before dM were to hit Vegas and So-Cal I invited her out to Vegas to stay at my house and see Echo at the HOB. That weekend would prove to be, STRANGE.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Wbhen the wBody speaks
July '00 - April '01
DE-PECHE-MODE is so coming out with a new album! A NEW ALBUM! Not a double singles album. A NEW ALBUM! How long has it been since a body of new material? 5 YEARS. Still fucked-up DM-Spiritually after Alan's departure in '95 I am still all for Depeche Mode. The album Ultra was brilliant. Different? Yes. But fucking brilliant. And although the Singles Tour was not even close to anything I would have ever wanted to see DM do it was what was needed for all of the remaining band members. If you are reading this you know why.
Note: If you have read my blogs you know I don't rehash heartache: friend, band member, family member unless it is super vital to the particular blog. And then if so it is with the utmost respect. Please refer to the first blog for my rules.
So I am going online everynight on the old Depeche Mode website which wasn't an official site at all it was on the old WB board. Many bands were linked from here so it was a great place to talk about your favourite band. I was up there everynight (morning)and met some really amazing people. Two especially great people Dawn & Lauren were constants. We talked non-stop about all things mode and soon after were emailing like mad men & women.
The still title-less Exciter was 4 months from release and I was checking everyday on Depechemode.tv, Napster and one other site. Nothing ever happened. Always the notice of 'Not today' 'No Results' or the horrible 'I don't think so'. Pretty disheartening but I don't give up on Depeche Mode. The songs are there to be found. I NEED THEM to be, if for no other reason so I can buy 20 copies and give them out to my non- DM friends and convert them which I have done with every DM album release. So one day, February 25th (5am), after work I start my search on all the sites. Site #1. Not Today. Site #2. When the Body Speaks-Depeche Mode. Uh.......
By 8am I had the entire Exciter album. By that time I had also listened to When The Body Speaks in it's imperfect form for the 20 somethingth time. I knew it by heart. It would go on to become my favourite track off Exciter and one of my all-time DM favs but I never knew that it would also be the silent lighthouse blinking warning of a potentially unfaithful boyfriend who would crush trust after 5 years and break a real bond 6 months later while I was in Los Angeles during The Tour of Pain. Literally giving meaning to when the body speaks. His own body anyway.
TOUR OF PAIN EPIC CONTINUED TOMORROW & EVERDAY UNTIL AUGUST 19TH (The Final Day of the EXCITER North American Tour) PROLOUGE ON September 11th.
DE-PECHE-MODE is so coming out with a new album! A NEW ALBUM! Not a double singles album. A NEW ALBUM! How long has it been since a body of new material? 5 YEARS. Still fucked-up DM-Spiritually after Alan's departure in '95 I am still all for Depeche Mode. The album Ultra was brilliant. Different? Yes. But fucking brilliant. And although the Singles Tour was not even close to anything I would have ever wanted to see DM do it was what was needed for all of the remaining band members. If you are reading this you know why.
Note: If you have read my blogs you know I don't rehash heartache: friend, band member, family member unless it is super vital to the particular blog. And then if so it is with the utmost respect. Please refer to the first blog for my rules.
So I am going online everynight on the old Depeche Mode website which wasn't an official site at all it was on the old WB board. Many bands were linked from here so it was a great place to talk about your favourite band. I was up there everynight (morning)and met some really amazing people. Two especially great people Dawn & Lauren were constants. We talked non-stop about all things mode and soon after were emailing like mad men & women.
The still title-less Exciter was 4 months from release and I was checking everyday on Depechemode.tv, Napster and one other site. Nothing ever happened. Always the notice of 'Not today' 'No Results' or the horrible 'I don't think so'. Pretty disheartening but I don't give up on Depeche Mode. The songs are there to be found. I NEED THEM to be, if for no other reason so I can buy 20 copies and give them out to my non- DM friends and convert them which I have done with every DM album release. So one day, February 25th (5am), after work I start my search on all the sites. Site #1. Not Today. Site #2. When the Body Speaks-Depeche Mode. Uh.......
By 8am I had the entire Exciter album. By that time I had also listened to When The Body Speaks in it's imperfect form for the 20 somethingth time. I knew it by heart. It would go on to become my favourite track off Exciter and one of my all-time DM favs but I never knew that it would also be the silent lighthouse blinking warning of a potentially unfaithful boyfriend who would crush trust after 5 years and break a real bond 6 months later while I was in Los Angeles during The Tour of Pain. Literally giving meaning to when the body speaks. His own body anyway.
TOUR OF PAIN EPIC CONTINUED TOMORROW & EVERDAY UNTIL AUGUST 19TH (The Final Day of the EXCITER North American Tour) PROLOUGE ON September 11th.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
The Tour Of Pain is COMING. (17 parts) August 1st
On Sunday, August 1st, the Greatest 'My Musiqke' story I could ever write and one of the most important (if not the most) journey's of my life will unfold on this blog.
An epic story. Not epic like 'The Illiad' but EPIC to me. 12 days, 6 DM shows, 46 friends, 2 live so far away I doubt I will ever see them again and it crushes me. 1 I would hug like nobody's business but I havent heard her voice in years. 1 lives so close, yet so far away, I miss you D. I SO MISS MY TWIN. 1 lives up north and seems to be loving her life with her new bo, he seems AMAZING to me. Her brother lives in Paris. Wow, do I miss this mother fucker? That's like asking Saturn if she would miss her rings. I will never forget that Halloween in vEGAS. Then there are the twins, you know who you are. The lillian sisters. I HONESTLY have experienced some of the greatest moments of my life with each of you and usually with both of you at the same time. It's hard to separate you both so I won't/can't you will always be sisters in my book. 1 who accepted and loved me from afar and helped me get my party together from 3.000 miles away, oh how I love my L what a fucking jewel. 1 who will always have my heart. The first time she cried to me about Dave she had me And lastly the one guy who truly changed my life forever. The guy who has always accepted my bullshit and never even so much as blinked at it. The man that defines the word FRIEND.
I will blog about what happened on every day from my eyes. THE WORLD IN MY EYES so to speak. August 1st will be the runner, a catch-up. August 8-19 I will blog each day about what happened as if it were each day of the tour in 2001. There will be a couple epilouge blogs. If you look at the time period I'm sure you can understand why. I am going to post everything about 9.11.01. I am not looking forward to the eps. It's going to fucking hurt. Again. But it is what happened. IT NEEDS TO BE TOLD. AGAIN & AGAIN & AGAIN & AGAIN & AGAIN,
An epic story. Not epic like 'The Illiad' but EPIC to me. 12 days, 6 DM shows, 46 friends, 2 live so far away I doubt I will ever see them again and it crushes me. 1 I would hug like nobody's business but I havent heard her voice in years. 1 lives so close, yet so far away, I miss you D. I SO MISS MY TWIN. 1 lives up north and seems to be loving her life with her new bo, he seems AMAZING to me. Her brother lives in Paris. Wow, do I miss this mother fucker? That's like asking Saturn if she would miss her rings. I will never forget that Halloween in vEGAS. Then there are the twins, you know who you are. The lillian sisters. I HONESTLY have experienced some of the greatest moments of my life with each of you and usually with both of you at the same time. It's hard to separate you both so I won't/can't you will always be sisters in my book. 1 who accepted and loved me from afar and helped me get my party together from 3.000 miles away, oh how I love my L what a fucking jewel. 1 who will always have my heart. The first time she cried to me about Dave she had me And lastly the one guy who truly changed my life forever. The guy who has always accepted my bullshit and never even so much as blinked at it. The man that defines the word FRIEND.
I will blog about what happened on every day from my eyes. THE WORLD IN MY EYES so to speak. August 1st will be the runner, a catch-up. August 8-19 I will blog each day about what happened as if it were each day of the tour in 2001. There will be a couple epilouge blogs. If you look at the time period I'm sure you can understand why. I am going to post everything about 9.11.01. I am not looking forward to the eps. It's going to fucking hurt. Again. But it is what happened. IT NEEDS TO BE TOLD. AGAIN & AGAIN & AGAIN & AGAIN & AGAIN,
Friday, May 28, 2010
Holiday... A father who wasn't to his son.
February 27, 1972 - Present Day
I grew up in the best/worst of households. One day happy. One day a nightmare. If you have ever wondered where I get my affinity for science, knowledge, & the word FUCK. That would be the 'Y' in me given by my father. The compassion, empathy, and the tears falling from my face from even the slightest hint of sadness that's the 'X' in me. Mother, sometimes I call here mom. I want to call here MOM all the time but I can't anymore it seems. I literally can not even talk to this woman anymore. He tainted her so much I don't believe a word that comes out of her mouth anymore. So I cut ties with both of them.
This song always reminds me of my father. Good? Bad? I don't separate the terms much anymore. It hurts and makes me happy everytime I hear it. It is truly amazing the feelings a song less than 3 minutes long can evoke in someone every time they here it.
HOLIDAY: THE BEE GEES
Ooh you're a holiday , such a holiday
Ooh you're a holiday , such a holiday
It's something I thinks worthwhile
If the puppet makes you smile
If not then you're throwing stones
Throwing stones, throwing stones
Ooh it's a funny game
Don't believe that it's all the same
Can't think what I've just said
Put the soft pillow on my head
Millions of eyes can see
Yet why am I so blind
When the someone else is me
It's unkind, it's unkind
de de de de de de de de de de de de de
de de de de de de de de de de de de de
Yet millions of eyes can see
Yet why am I so blind
When the someone else is me
It's unkind, it's unkind
Ooh you're a holiday , ev'ry day , such a holiday
Now it's my turn to say , and I say you're a holiday
It's something I thinks worthwhile
If the puppet makes you smile
If not then you're throwing stones
Throwing stones , throwing stones
de de de de de de de de de de de de de de
I grew up in the best/worst of households. One day happy. One day a nightmare. If you have ever wondered where I get my affinity for science, knowledge, & the word FUCK. That would be the 'Y' in me given by my father. The compassion, empathy, and the tears falling from my face from even the slightest hint of sadness that's the 'X' in me. Mother, sometimes I call here mom. I want to call here MOM all the time but I can't anymore it seems. I literally can not even talk to this woman anymore. He tainted her so much I don't believe a word that comes out of her mouth anymore. So I cut ties with both of them.
This song always reminds me of my father. Good? Bad? I don't separate the terms much anymore. It hurts and makes me happy everytime I hear it. It is truly amazing the feelings a song less than 3 minutes long can evoke in someone every time they here it.
HOLIDAY: THE BEE GEES
Ooh you're a holiday , such a holiday
Ooh you're a holiday , such a holiday
It's something I thinks worthwhile
If the puppet makes you smile
If not then you're throwing stones
Throwing stones, throwing stones
Ooh it's a funny game
Don't believe that it's all the same
Can't think what I've just said
Put the soft pillow on my head
Millions of eyes can see
Yet why am I so blind
When the someone else is me
It's unkind, it's unkind
de de de de de de de de de de de de de
de de de de de de de de de de de de de
Yet millions of eyes can see
Yet why am I so blind
When the someone else is me
It's unkind, it's unkind
Ooh you're a holiday , ev'ry day , such a holiday
Now it's my turn to say , and I say you're a holiday
It's something I thinks worthwhile
If the puppet makes you smile
If not then you're throwing stones
Throwing stones , throwing stones
de de de de de de de de de de de de de de
Monday, May 24, 2010
I heard it from my Friends about the things other friends said about LOST
A show isn't about it's beginning nor ending, it's about the journey. It's kinda funny I am sticking up for LOST. I'm sure Michael and Sean will get a kick out of that fact. Well, maybe not now but a few years ago they would have.
In the beginning I was on board. I remember seeing the Promos for the show with Dominic Monaghan (whose last name is an anagram for MO GAHANN! In DM fan lingo that's MORE DAVE!) saying, "Guys, where are we?" I WAS SOLD!!! Why? Well, I'm glad you asked. 'The Lord of The Rings' Trilogy is something Mike & I relish. I can not tell you how many times we have fallen asleep to Cate Blanchett's voice over talking about every age of Middle Earth. We adore these movies.
It should be noted that Mike and I have "boyfriends" in everything we see, watch, view. When I first met Mike in Vegas he would say, "damn, he is good-looking" while watching something. I would ask if that was his "boyfriend" on whatever it was we were watching. He didn't get it at first but loves and even upstages me now, wait for it. The first time I asked this he just gave me a strange look. I told him I have certain "boyfriends" actors, musicians, news anchors etc. [yes news anchors] Hey, the channel 6 anchor in Vegas on the 11pm news cast in '03 was CUTE AS HELL! Name? No idea... See, that's what's fun about it.
So Dominic Monaghan [LOST fans, that's Charlie] is my LOTR boyfriend. I melted for his portrayal of Meriadoc Brandybuck, or 'Merry' as he is commonly referred to in the books/films. Mikes "boyfriend" in the films is Pippin Peregrin or Billy Boyd as he is humanly known. So when I found out Dominic was in LOST I was on top of the world. My LOTR's boyfriend had moved to T.V. SA-WEET!
So we watched LOST & LOVED IT. We loved its strange unconventionlism (is that a word? It is now) Yet after watching the first 16 eps of season one I stopped watching. Never wanted to watch it again. I kept thinking, are these guys making this shit up as they go along? Do they honestly have an ending? I loved everything about the show mechanically but wanted to know if they had a solution FROM THE BEGINNING.
BSG the series was starting at this same point (after the mini in '03)the writers for this show wrote a "BSG bible" (their words). Things that would be concrete, never change. I felt LOST never had this so it was easy for me to dis it, for lack of a better phrase.
After season 1 was over I had a conversation with Sean and he said he really wanted me to start watching again. In my mind I was a NO. However, after many talks about the show and where it was going I agreed to watch the last few eps of season 1. I was so not convinced. 4 months later Sean asked me to watch the premiere of season 2. He is convincing sometimes. I agreed. I asked Mike to watch it with me and he opted out. I watched the first 5 eps and gave up. Why? I'm not sure. I would chalk it up to not having anyone to enjoy or hate it with. Things are better or worse when you have someone to talk about it with. Mike was so out. Totally didn't care. So I didn't.
So I dont even remember when it was but Sean started texting Mike. (Mid season 3 I think) Mike and Sean still had never met at that point. I don't know why but Mike said he was going to give LOST another chance and bought the first season. He watched the entire 1st season in one weekend. I could hear him yelling from the other room, THAT'S RIGHT YOU F'ING BITCH! I would walk in with the 'who the fuck are you yelling at face on' and he would say, Kate just got her ass handed to her. I am so hating her right now! But I love her too. She's good.
A few weeks later both of us have re-watched every episode from season one & two and all the DVR'd season three shows. TWICE & in some cases THRICE because we can't get enough of this show. Plus, amazingly it fills in the 8 month gaps of BSG that the fucking assholes at the Sci-Fi channel [NBC] has forced upon us regularly. NBC, you're lucky that you are the gayest network & subsidiaries out there or I'd be flaming you like an Evangelical preacher would a fag in church right now. Pun intended.
Then it happened. One night after an episode of LOST Mike texted Sean. Sean texted Mike back. I do not remember what was said at all. I only remember this: I had put my headphones in and put on an album. Depeche Mode: Music For The Masses. I was two songs in, "The Things You Said." I was looking over at Mike and he was smiling. I took one earpiece out and asked what? He said that Sean had said something about the show and he went back to texting him back.
The things you said had always meant something different to me. Something evil almost. But on that night that song morphed into something completely different.
In LOST's honour I won't explain it fully. I think I've told you enough to draw your own conclusions.
In the beginning I was on board. I remember seeing the Promos for the show with Dominic Monaghan (whose last name is an anagram for MO GAHANN! In DM fan lingo that's MORE DAVE!) saying, "Guys, where are we?" I WAS SOLD!!! Why? Well, I'm glad you asked. 'The Lord of The Rings' Trilogy is something Mike & I relish. I can not tell you how many times we have fallen asleep to Cate Blanchett's voice over talking about every age of Middle Earth. We adore these movies.
It should be noted that Mike and I have "boyfriends" in everything we see, watch, view. When I first met Mike in Vegas he would say, "damn, he is good-looking" while watching something. I would ask if that was his "boyfriend" on whatever it was we were watching. He didn't get it at first but loves and even upstages me now, wait for it. The first time I asked this he just gave me a strange look. I told him I have certain "boyfriends" actors, musicians, news anchors etc. [yes news anchors] Hey, the channel 6 anchor in Vegas on the 11pm news cast in '03 was CUTE AS HELL! Name? No idea... See, that's what's fun about it.
So Dominic Monaghan [LOST fans, that's Charlie] is my LOTR boyfriend. I melted for his portrayal of Meriadoc Brandybuck, or 'Merry' as he is commonly referred to in the books/films. Mikes "boyfriend" in the films is Pippin Peregrin or Billy Boyd as he is humanly known. So when I found out Dominic was in LOST I was on top of the world. My LOTR's boyfriend had moved to T.V. SA-WEET!
So we watched LOST & LOVED IT. We loved its strange unconventionlism (is that a word? It is now) Yet after watching the first 16 eps of season one I stopped watching. Never wanted to watch it again. I kept thinking, are these guys making this shit up as they go along? Do they honestly have an ending? I loved everything about the show mechanically but wanted to know if they had a solution FROM THE BEGINNING.
BSG the series was starting at this same point (after the mini in '03)the writers for this show wrote a "BSG bible" (their words). Things that would be concrete, never change. I felt LOST never had this so it was easy for me to dis it, for lack of a better phrase.
After season 1 was over I had a conversation with Sean and he said he really wanted me to start watching again. In my mind I was a NO. However, after many talks about the show and where it was going I agreed to watch the last few eps of season 1. I was so not convinced. 4 months later Sean asked me to watch the premiere of season 2. He is convincing sometimes. I agreed. I asked Mike to watch it with me and he opted out. I watched the first 5 eps and gave up. Why? I'm not sure. I would chalk it up to not having anyone to enjoy or hate it with. Things are better or worse when you have someone to talk about it with. Mike was so out. Totally didn't care. So I didn't.
So I dont even remember when it was but Sean started texting Mike. (Mid season 3 I think) Mike and Sean still had never met at that point. I don't know why but Mike said he was going to give LOST another chance and bought the first season. He watched the entire 1st season in one weekend. I could hear him yelling from the other room, THAT'S RIGHT YOU F'ING BITCH! I would walk in with the 'who the fuck are you yelling at face on' and he would say, Kate just got her ass handed to her. I am so hating her right now! But I love her too. She's good.
A few weeks later both of us have re-watched every episode from season one & two and all the DVR'd season three shows. TWICE & in some cases THRICE because we can't get enough of this show. Plus, amazingly it fills in the 8 month gaps of BSG that the fucking assholes at the Sci-Fi channel [NBC] has forced upon us regularly. NBC, you're lucky that you are the gayest network & subsidiaries out there or I'd be flaming you like an Evangelical preacher would a fag in church right now. Pun intended.
Then it happened. One night after an episode of LOST Mike texted Sean. Sean texted Mike back. I do not remember what was said at all. I only remember this: I had put my headphones in and put on an album. Depeche Mode: Music For The Masses. I was two songs in, "The Things You Said." I was looking over at Mike and he was smiling. I took one earpiece out and asked what? He said that Sean had said something about the show and he went back to texting him back.
The things you said had always meant something different to me. Something evil almost. But on that night that song morphed into something completely different.
In LOST's honour I won't explain it fully. I think I've told you enough to draw your own conclusions.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Holding hands with dismembered Bubblemen through Chain-link Fences
March 1st 2000: The SUN Theatre Anaheim California
Peter Murphy just finished performing. Paul, Eric & I are standing outside just beyond the chain-link fence between us and where the band goes out to their bus. We are among maybe a couple hundred fans. We of course are cracking jokes, farting, and trying to make each other laugh. You know, the things we always do when we are together, the good things. All three of us know that Peter won't be coming out and we aren't upset about that at all. In fact we aren't waiting for the Dark Prince of White Light. We are hoping David J's little brother may walk out those doors. Kevin had joined Peter on this tour and we are skyrockets about it.
After twenty minutes waiting and a couple of beers some Gothic chick got upset with us and said we were rude. Uh, babe, you don't say that to us. So Eric told her to go fly a kite, literally. I believe his words were, go fly a kite you bat. I know. I LOVE him too. I remember Paul laughing so hard he was out. Once Paul gets laughing that hard he is always always out. By out I mean you can't count on him for anything for thirty minutes cause he is laughing so hard. Cut to me, I am holding my dick so I don't piss myself now. I am out too. Eric, once again, has with one non-offensive quip told some stupid bitch to go fuck herself. I so relish that talent. Eric and I lived together for years and it never rubbed off. He is still clever and I am still a prick.
Side Note: You should see Eric & I at the south Nickle Slots carousel At O'Sheas. If you can drink three 75 cent Harps and not wet yourself before running to the restroom we would give you our entire bankroll for the night, $20. Laugh if you must you uncouth fucker. Yes- I know, uncouth is not a word. Oh and please do not punch the buttons with your chin. Burger King fatty cool girl. $15 Blackjack Leprechaun hats. Whoopee-Cushion Madness! Did I leave anything out Eric?
So we continue to laugh our asses off and we now have a sizeable group around us that are enjoying our shenanigans. I call my buddy Russel in Las Vegas with whom I promised I would call if we met Kevin. Russel is a true friend that appreciates true artistry. We are also right on the fence line. I don't remember how long it was, maybe twenty minutes and everyone starts yelling. So Kevin has walked out the door and is walking about 50 feet north of us. I am dialing Russel. No Answer. Dial. No Answer. Kevin is getting closer and closer. I dial. No answer. I dial. No answer. He's 10 feet away. I haven't stopped dialing. Still no answer. He's shaking hands through the fence and then he gets to us. This is one of my fucking idols. The drummer of Bauhaus/Tones on Tail/Love & Rockets! The only member of L&R I have not haven't had some kind of an experience with. This bitch ain't goin NOWHERE. But Russel still isn't answering his phone! Eric, Paul, & I all shake his hand over the fence cause, you know, we are fucking cool. Okay, Paul had to pick me up a bit. I'm only 5'10! I tell him my buddy Russel wanted to talk to him but I lost his cell-signal. Yeah, I lied to Kevin Haskins, don't even start with your bullshit. What would you say? Oh, my friend isn't answering his phone? I don't think so. Anyway, he stood and talked to us for a few minutes. The entire time I was still trying to get Russel on the phone but couldn't. Kevin loved it. I think he was genuinely touched. He was so nice. (great fucking guy). So he kept going down the line and we were walking away and my phone rings. RUSSEL! YES! So Kevin is about 50 people from the end of the line and I am running to the fence and yell Kev! It's Russel! I'm pushing my arm through the fence holding Paul's cell phone for Kevin with Russel on the end of it. Kevin starts laughing and takes the cell phone out of my hand and says "Hello Russel, how are you?" He talked to my friend for a couple minutes. I have no idea what they talked about and it doesn't matter. Russel talked to Haskins that night that's all that matters. Kevin handed Paul's phone back to me through the fence and gave me that look of 'Thank you too'. I was walking backwards to the car for the first 50 or 60 steps and he just kept looking at me smiling. I don't know how to expalin it. Am I looking too much into it? I believe I sometimes do. But that's who I am. It was one of those moments of LOVE. Kevin Haskins, 1/3 of the Fishtank Trinity.
February 27th, 1998: The Orb, Hollywood California
My 26th birthday. Paul & I are in L.A. for two reasons. To hang out with EJ & Hope & Steph & to meet David J. He just so happens to be DJing at the 'ORB' on my fucking birthday. I am losing my mind at how cool this is. Not meeting David. I grew up in L.A., I am not struck by celebrity, nor do I care (usually). I am however winged-heels over the fact that David J is Djing on my B-day. That is, to put it in L&R terms, "Closer to Nirvana Open the Doors." EJ, Hope, Paul & I dance to some amazing tunes for about an hour after getting there. After a while EJ and I break away and we are walking up to the DJ booth giggling like two litttle school girls. I keep telling her I want him to draw me a bubbleman. We can't stop laughing. Neither of us have pen and paper so that dream is dead. Or is it? So we finally walk up to the third floor and there are 10 people crowding around him. I felt uncomfortable crowding J more so I turn and tell EJ, "let's just go" and EJ says, "Uh, no. It's your birthday. We are staying til you say Hi." Urgh, I push through and there is this very unpleasent girl who must of been from a record company and she was shooing everyone out. Her bitchiness gave me more courage than alcohol or drugs could have ever given someone. I told her I had driven 5 hours to see David J for my B-day and I wasn't leaving until I said hello. Suprisingly she pushed everyone away and brought me right up to him. I said, "David, hey, It's my b-day just wanted to shake your hand." He was awesome. He smiled, gave me a hug & wished me a Happy B-Day. I walked back to EJ VERY HAPPY! She was smiling SO HUGE. That's all I wanted. I got it. GREAT NIGHT. Cut to an hour later, we are downstairs. EJ starts smiling and pointing and I turn around to see David standing next to me. Surreal. He said hello. SO COOL. I said hey and tell him about my wish for him to draw me a bubbleman. He pulls out a scrap of paper and a pen and draws me a bubbleman. A bubbleman head on the far left. A bubbleman body in the middle and bubbleman feet on the right of the paper. All seperate. A totally dismembered bubbleman. I look at him and he just smiles HUGE. Doesnt say a word. Just Smiles and walks away. It was one of those moments of Happiness. David J. 1/3 of the Fishtank Trinity.
August 30, 1996: The Joint @ The Hardrock Hotel, Las Vegas Nevada
Shawn had been calling me all day: Love & Rockets Tonight! he kept saying. We were giddy as hell. They were opening for Porno for Pyros which was cool and sucked. It was cool L&R was playing but sucked cause they were opening. Once again, L&R having to open. This band has never received the respect they truly deserve. At least they were opening for Perry and I was looking forward to seeing PFP live. (They were great by the way).
So Shawn and I get there and we are hanging with our buddy Mike May's girlfriend and her crazy-fun-bestie. Since most of the people at The Joint that night were there to see PFP we quickly made our way up to the front. The very front. The greatest thing about that venue, there were no seats.
The lights go down and on come the trinity. They bang out Sad Beautiful World, Sweet F.A., Use Me, Natacha, Shelf Life (my heart skipped a beat when David started in on this one. This is their crown jewel from their later albums.) It was a great show so far. All songs from Sweet F.A. which was perfectly fine for me. It's an amazing album. Hadn't been listening to anything else for weeks. But of course Shawn and I and now about 10 of our friends that had also all made their way to the front were waiting to see which old tune they would pull out first. Shawn & I had placed a 10 spot on which older tune they would play first. I went with Dog End Day and Shawn went with No Big Deal if I remember correctly. Both solid picks. And then it happened...
Daniel changed guitars... WE WERE BOTH WRONG! YIN & YANG THE FLOWERPOT MAN BABY!!!!
Cue the dancing lunatics in the front row Side: ASH. We all burst into a flurry of crazy dancing and harmonics. "Under wheel of the runnin train!" We were off to the races! Jumping, dancing and signing as one. If nothing else happened that night we were going to show the PFP fans how true addicts of a band showed their appreciation.
So Daniel is grinding away on guitar, David is hypnotizing us with his drum thumping bass and Kevin, well, come on. It's Kevin Fucking Haskins for shits sake! The band and our group are one. And then with no warning Daniel jumps down off the stage and is standing right in front of us. Can't describe how cool it was to watch Mr. Ash tear the fuck out of that guitar 2 feet from me. Our little group was now on fire.
So there is that long break were the band just gets down on this song. And of course the next spoken word is that one glorious stand alone line which I of course have to scream to Daniel at the top of my lungs right? I mean, the man is standing right in front of me. Is it time for that line? No, it's like 36 breaks until that line. Do I care? No. So I scream it out to him. "ALCOHOL IS YOUR YOGA BABY!" Daniel looks at me with those big bug-eyed glasses and without stopping strumming with one hand grabs my hand that I had apparently reached out to him. Uh, can you say CLOSER TO NIRVANA Now!? So there I am holding hands with Daniel Ash will he is strumming his guitar during Yin & Yang The Flowerpot Man. I finally let go and he didn't. (He likes to drink whiskey) So I reapplied my hand hold. It was fucking magic. I could not believe I was standing there with him during that song hand in hand. Just a simple 3 foot tall velvet rope line between us. He let go twenty seconds later got back up on stage and looked down at our group and sang "Alcohol is your Yoga Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabeeeeeeeeeeeee" and of course we all lost our minds.
As soon as the song was over Shawn shook me and said, DID YOU SEE THAT! We laughed so hard it wasn't funny. Shawn realized what he had said and I was just so happy that everything anyone said was funny. Everything was bliss. Everything was excellent. I was transported by that moment.
To be honest I haven't told that story much. It just means too much to me. But now that I'm doing this diary I thought it might be time to write it down. It was one of those moments of Passion. Daniel Ash. 1/3 of the Fishtank Trinity.
Peter Murphy just finished performing. Paul, Eric & I are standing outside just beyond the chain-link fence between us and where the band goes out to their bus. We are among maybe a couple hundred fans. We of course are cracking jokes, farting, and trying to make each other laugh. You know, the things we always do when we are together, the good things. All three of us know that Peter won't be coming out and we aren't upset about that at all. In fact we aren't waiting for the Dark Prince of White Light. We are hoping David J's little brother may walk out those doors. Kevin had joined Peter on this tour and we are skyrockets about it.
After twenty minutes waiting and a couple of beers some Gothic chick got upset with us and said we were rude. Uh, babe, you don't say that to us. So Eric told her to go fly a kite, literally. I believe his words were, go fly a kite you bat. I know. I LOVE him too. I remember Paul laughing so hard he was out. Once Paul gets laughing that hard he is always always out. By out I mean you can't count on him for anything for thirty minutes cause he is laughing so hard. Cut to me, I am holding my dick so I don't piss myself now. I am out too. Eric, once again, has with one non-offensive quip told some stupid bitch to go fuck herself. I so relish that talent. Eric and I lived together for years and it never rubbed off. He is still clever and I am still a prick.
Side Note: You should see Eric & I at the south Nickle Slots carousel At O'Sheas. If you can drink three 75 cent Harps and not wet yourself before running to the restroom we would give you our entire bankroll for the night, $20. Laugh if you must you uncouth fucker. Yes- I know, uncouth is not a word. Oh and please do not punch the buttons with your chin. Burger King fatty cool girl. $15 Blackjack Leprechaun hats. Whoopee-Cushion Madness! Did I leave anything out Eric?
So we continue to laugh our asses off and we now have a sizeable group around us that are enjoying our shenanigans. I call my buddy Russel in Las Vegas with whom I promised I would call if we met Kevin. Russel is a true friend that appreciates true artistry. We are also right on the fence line. I don't remember how long it was, maybe twenty minutes and everyone starts yelling. So Kevin has walked out the door and is walking about 50 feet north of us. I am dialing Russel. No Answer. Dial. No Answer. Kevin is getting closer and closer. I dial. No answer. I dial. No answer. He's 10 feet away. I haven't stopped dialing. Still no answer. He's shaking hands through the fence and then he gets to us. This is one of my fucking idols. The drummer of Bauhaus/Tones on Tail/Love & Rockets! The only member of L&R I have not haven't had some kind of an experience with. This bitch ain't goin NOWHERE. But Russel still isn't answering his phone! Eric, Paul, & I all shake his hand over the fence cause, you know, we are fucking cool. Okay, Paul had to pick me up a bit. I'm only 5'10! I tell him my buddy Russel wanted to talk to him but I lost his cell-signal. Yeah, I lied to Kevin Haskins, don't even start with your bullshit. What would you say? Oh, my friend isn't answering his phone? I don't think so. Anyway, he stood and talked to us for a few minutes. The entire time I was still trying to get Russel on the phone but couldn't. Kevin loved it. I think he was genuinely touched. He was so nice. (great fucking guy). So he kept going down the line and we were walking away and my phone rings. RUSSEL! YES! So Kevin is about 50 people from the end of the line and I am running to the fence and yell Kev! It's Russel! I'm pushing my arm through the fence holding Paul's cell phone for Kevin with Russel on the end of it. Kevin starts laughing and takes the cell phone out of my hand and says "Hello Russel, how are you?" He talked to my friend for a couple minutes. I have no idea what they talked about and it doesn't matter. Russel talked to Haskins that night that's all that matters. Kevin handed Paul's phone back to me through the fence and gave me that look of 'Thank you too'. I was walking backwards to the car for the first 50 or 60 steps and he just kept looking at me smiling. I don't know how to expalin it. Am I looking too much into it? I believe I sometimes do. But that's who I am. It was one of those moments of LOVE. Kevin Haskins, 1/3 of the Fishtank Trinity.
February 27th, 1998: The Orb, Hollywood California
My 26th birthday. Paul & I are in L.A. for two reasons. To hang out with EJ & Hope & Steph & to meet David J. He just so happens to be DJing at the 'ORB' on my fucking birthday. I am losing my mind at how cool this is. Not meeting David. I grew up in L.A., I am not struck by celebrity, nor do I care (usually). I am however winged-heels over the fact that David J is Djing on my B-day. That is, to put it in L&R terms, "Closer to Nirvana Open the Doors." EJ, Hope, Paul & I dance to some amazing tunes for about an hour after getting there. After a while EJ and I break away and we are walking up to the DJ booth giggling like two litttle school girls. I keep telling her I want him to draw me a bubbleman. We can't stop laughing. Neither of us have pen and paper so that dream is dead. Or is it? So we finally walk up to the third floor and there are 10 people crowding around him. I felt uncomfortable crowding J more so I turn and tell EJ, "let's just go" and EJ says, "Uh, no. It's your birthday. We are staying til you say Hi." Urgh, I push through and there is this very unpleasent girl who must of been from a record company and she was shooing everyone out. Her bitchiness gave me more courage than alcohol or drugs could have ever given someone. I told her I had driven 5 hours to see David J for my B-day and I wasn't leaving until I said hello. Suprisingly she pushed everyone away and brought me right up to him. I said, "David, hey, It's my b-day just wanted to shake your hand." He was awesome. He smiled, gave me a hug & wished me a Happy B-Day. I walked back to EJ VERY HAPPY! She was smiling SO HUGE. That's all I wanted. I got it. GREAT NIGHT. Cut to an hour later, we are downstairs. EJ starts smiling and pointing and I turn around to see David standing next to me. Surreal. He said hello. SO COOL. I said hey and tell him about my wish for him to draw me a bubbleman. He pulls out a scrap of paper and a pen and draws me a bubbleman. A bubbleman head on the far left. A bubbleman body in the middle and bubbleman feet on the right of the paper. All seperate. A totally dismembered bubbleman. I look at him and he just smiles HUGE. Doesnt say a word. Just Smiles and walks away. It was one of those moments of Happiness. David J. 1/3 of the Fishtank Trinity.
August 30, 1996: The Joint @ The Hardrock Hotel, Las Vegas Nevada
Shawn had been calling me all day: Love & Rockets Tonight! he kept saying. We were giddy as hell. They were opening for Porno for Pyros which was cool and sucked. It was cool L&R was playing but sucked cause they were opening. Once again, L&R having to open. This band has never received the respect they truly deserve. At least they were opening for Perry and I was looking forward to seeing PFP live. (They were great by the way).
So Shawn and I get there and we are hanging with our buddy Mike May's girlfriend and her crazy-fun-bestie. Since most of the people at The Joint that night were there to see PFP we quickly made our way up to the front. The very front. The greatest thing about that venue, there were no seats.
The lights go down and on come the trinity. They bang out Sad Beautiful World, Sweet F.A., Use Me, Natacha, Shelf Life (my heart skipped a beat when David started in on this one. This is their crown jewel from their later albums.) It was a great show so far. All songs from Sweet F.A. which was perfectly fine for me. It's an amazing album. Hadn't been listening to anything else for weeks. But of course Shawn and I and now about 10 of our friends that had also all made their way to the front were waiting to see which old tune they would pull out first. Shawn & I had placed a 10 spot on which older tune they would play first. I went with Dog End Day and Shawn went with No Big Deal if I remember correctly. Both solid picks. And then it happened...
Daniel changed guitars... WE WERE BOTH WRONG! YIN & YANG THE FLOWERPOT MAN BABY!!!!
Cue the dancing lunatics in the front row Side: ASH. We all burst into a flurry of crazy dancing and harmonics. "Under wheel of the runnin train!" We were off to the races! Jumping, dancing and signing as one. If nothing else happened that night we were going to show the PFP fans how true addicts of a band showed their appreciation.
So Daniel is grinding away on guitar, David is hypnotizing us with his drum thumping bass and Kevin, well, come on. It's Kevin Fucking Haskins for shits sake! The band and our group are one. And then with no warning Daniel jumps down off the stage and is standing right in front of us. Can't describe how cool it was to watch Mr. Ash tear the fuck out of that guitar 2 feet from me. Our little group was now on fire.
So there is that long break were the band just gets down on this song. And of course the next spoken word is that one glorious stand alone line which I of course have to scream to Daniel at the top of my lungs right? I mean, the man is standing right in front of me. Is it time for that line? No, it's like 36 breaks until that line. Do I care? No. So I scream it out to him. "ALCOHOL IS YOUR YOGA BABY!" Daniel looks at me with those big bug-eyed glasses and without stopping strumming with one hand grabs my hand that I had apparently reached out to him. Uh, can you say CLOSER TO NIRVANA Now!? So there I am holding hands with Daniel Ash will he is strumming his guitar during Yin & Yang The Flowerpot Man. I finally let go and he didn't. (He likes to drink whiskey) So I reapplied my hand hold. It was fucking magic. I could not believe I was standing there with him during that song hand in hand. Just a simple 3 foot tall velvet rope line between us. He let go twenty seconds later got back up on stage and looked down at our group and sang "Alcohol is your Yoga Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabeeeeeeeeeeeee" and of course we all lost our minds.
As soon as the song was over Shawn shook me and said, DID YOU SEE THAT! We laughed so hard it wasn't funny. Shawn realized what he had said and I was just so happy that everything anyone said was funny. Everything was bliss. Everything was excellent. I was transported by that moment.
To be honest I haven't told that story much. It just means too much to me. But now that I'm doing this diary I thought it might be time to write it down. It was one of those moments of Passion. Daniel Ash. 1/3 of the Fishtank Trinity.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Regulation Hat & Danielle & Things.
One night: Novemember 1986:
Duran had just released their No-No-Notorious Album. I asked my father if my cousin Danielle could spend the night so we could listen to Duran's new Album. My father is not one of my favourite people on this planet. He always disdained his brother Dave & his wife Melba, Danielle's parents. Interestingly I call them Dad & Mom now. For whatever reasons, my father never hated one person from our extended family; my cousin Danielle. He always loved her wholeheartedly. And to his credit sometimes he was the coolest mutha on the planet. He said, of course Danille can come over. Just keep your door shut, keep it down and have fun. For anyone reading this that knows my father you know what I'm talking about. Dicotomy in personality.
So Danielle comes over with all of her tapes and records (yes young people, tapes and records. See: Ancient Ruins). BTW I owe my Duraniedom to D. I also owe my Thompson Twindom to her... Oh but that is SO A DIFFERENT STORY... Cue: TO-KY-O! Why can't I ever say no TO-KY-O! HA!HA!
So Danielle is over and my mom has prepared us soft drinks and snacks to eat all night. Mom has always been cool like that. D & I walk into my room and shut the door. We wouldn't be bothered that night. We were in the Duran sanctuary that was my room. Danielle and I put down a blanket and pillows on my bedroom floor and start listening to Notorious. We both have headphones on and are digging the new album. After a while Danielle asked if I wanted to sing New Religion together. Ugh, my heart stopped.
New Religion is a brilliant song on Duran's second album 'Rio'. Ok, it's 1986. I know Duran really well. And like I said I know Duran really well because of Danielle. I attribute half of my musical taste to her guidance for fuck's sake. But I so didn't want to do it. I was so afraid I couldn't get the word's timing right.
Ok so here is the thing, 'New Religion' isn't your normal song. It's Simon at his best. It's a conversation between the ego and the alter ego. It's a back and forth so quick it will make a non-Duranies head spin like a top. Now I'm gonna be signing it with Danielle laying prone on a blanket and pillows!? Usually we would have a big rehearsal and dress-up session before we performed. In the mid-late eighties we would only perform for ourselves. Oh would that change in the early '90s.
With that said, of course I agree cause Danielle was my musical guide. So we both have the Rio album and each pull out the sleeves with the lyrics on them. Oh, the good ol' days. We dump the headphones so we can hear each other singing along with the lyrics.
Before I go on I would just like to say this is the first time in my life I knew what it was like to laugh so hard I thought I was actually going to hurt myself physically without the intention of doing so. Ruptured spleen, broken ribs possibly. Brain aneurysm, perhaps. Wetting one's pants, uh... maybe?
So we start the tape. Thank Duran for putting 'New Religion' as song 6. 1st song on side 2 of 'Rio'. That way we could just keep rewinding it to the beggining of side 2. Otherwise I still may have never known how to sing the song properly to this day. No seriously, there is a proper way to sing it.
Try #1
Me: I've been now sauntering out and down a path sometime
Come on it takes me nowhere which I know
Faces everywhere pulling grins and signs and things
Telling me not there man it's no go don't go there boy
Danielle: No! Stop!
Me: What!?
Danielle: Rewind it. I'm the alter ego, I say "Don't go there boy"
Me: Damn!
Try #2-#4 (Same Thing)
Try #5 ( We get it right, finally) But then this...
Me: I need a reason (I can't think without one now)
Too much learning got to show
Danielle: No! STOP! I sing 'I can't think without one now'
Danielle: Laughing so hard she is making me laugh and we can't even push rewind on the tape.
Try #6 (20 minutes later, we could not stop laughing)
TAPE REWOUND:
Me: Totally sung 'Don't go there Boy' AGAIN!
Danielle: That was my line! She is laughing so hard again. I am like, F-me! It took us forever to get that first one right and now I screwed it up again, I am bawling laughing cause Danielle can't stop laughing...
Try #7 (15-20 minutes later)
Me: "Maybe catch her don't know how"
Danielle: Laughter like no laughter you have ever heard in your life... No!
She cries out! She is now in classic Danielle mode (My favourite mode of Danielle ever) ie: laughing so hard she is crying. Anyone who has ever spent any decent amount of time with Danielle (when she isn't stressed) knows this Danielle. She literally can't speak. I think hear vocal chords actually disappear. I honestly do. She holds her stomach and stares at you, her face turns red and tears are literally rolling down her face. It is one of the most beaufiful things a human being can ever experience. If you have never seen it you might think she is having a stroke. And then it comes out... the BEST LAUGH EVER... That beautiful gasping laugh! Vocal chords are back! Or at least that's what Danielle's brain is telling her vocal chords. In fact the part of Danielle's brain that is telling her vocal chords they are working is being circumvented by that other part of her brain that is saying WE ARE GOIN TO LAUGH AND WE ARE GOING TO LAUGH FOR A VERY VERY VERY VERY LONG TIME!Danielle starts to speak and is comes out like this... "lhalhrrry... Yohhhuuu Fuuuukked up myy dearrrrr."
I LOSE IT! I was already laughing hard. Shit, we were both laughing so hard we were already on our sides. (you can't laugh as hard as D & I do and still be laying on your bellies) I am gasping for air so hard now I have to crawl up onto my bed and I piddle a bit in my pants). SO what do I do? I try to get my words out... Danieeeeel.. "Danieelll, Duh, Duh, Dee, Danyullll... I just peeed!!!!
That was it... We LAUGHED SO HARD it wasn't even funny. We could not stop!!!!
We laughed for an eternity. I was in the fetal postion on my bed. If I didnt get into that postion I would have pissed everywhere. Danielle was still on the floor and rolled away cause she couldnt look at me.
After what seemed like an eternity she finally stood up and never said a word and walk out of my bedroom and went to the bathroom. She walked back in a few minutes later and as soon as she walked in I started rolling. I couldn't help it. To steal an expression my mom always uses. I had my giggle box turned upside down. Danielle bursts into laughfter and sits against the other bed in my room. I can't even look at her. I jump up and bolt, legs-crossed out of the room. I relieve myslef in the bathroom. I walk to the other end of my house where the living room/kitchen are and act like I'm looking for food. Opening cabinents and the fridge. I opened and re-opened everything. I couldn't walk right back in. I couldn't. I would have just started rolling.
So on my trip to the other end of the house I saw my sperm donor (thank you Sean for that term) and my mom watching TV and my mom was smiling at me and my Sperm Donor was smiling too.
I was in a bit of a twilight Zone. But I didn't question it, shit... you dont question when things are good. Instead I went back to my room and as soon as I walked in Danielle and I stared rolling. Seriously rolling. It was the heaviest silent laughter one could ever manage or imagine for that manner. Every single person reading this knows exactly what I'm talking about. Danielle and I were on a high. A high of Diet Pepsi and pretzels.
So the next 30+ tries came with me and Danielle switching ego/alter ego parts numerous times. And we FINALLY got up to this line:
Try #39
Me: Gotta take pay from the paints 'n' sinners, in regulation hats 'n scarves 'n
things
Danielle (laughing unabated) No. no. no. no. Larry who is painting the sinners?
Me: I didn't say that!
Danielle: YES! YOU DID!
ME: AGAIN!
Try#40-#60: Now mind you... we started the song over from the beginning EVERY TIME. Our goal was to get all the way through it once without a single mistake. We killed that hope as soon as Danielle and I layed that blanket and those pillows down. As soon as Danielle and I giggled once we were done. Done in the best of ways.
I don't remember the exact number of times it took for us to get it right. I remember it was over 80, less than 100. But WE DID IT!
US: Gotta take pay from the saints 'n' sinners, in regulation hats 'n scarves 'n things
Walking in formation down the lane. They carry their cross make a church bell
ring
Army majors pull a mean cool truth, they're a-lying in the swimming pool
Searching for the undeniable truth, that a man is just a fool
We spent 5 hours on that one song, us singing it correctly. Ego/Alter Ego. With all of the laughter in between. Once we got it right we didnt even laugh we were so exhausted from laughing so much we just hugged. And then of course had to do it the other way. We had agreed to that half way through the night. It only took us 3 or 4 times to get it right after switching parts. I think it was because we were so tired and had stopped laughing so much and since we finally nailed it once it wasnt a problem to switch parts.
'New Religion' is one of the most intelligent, beautiful songs ever written. I had always loved that song but it wasn't until that sleep over with my cousin (SISTER) Danielle that night in November '86 that I understood what a song, not just 'New Religion' but any song, could mean to any one person. My immediate family was disentegrating at this point. I hated waking up into that family. I was so happy to hang out at Danielle's familys house (4 houses away) before and after school. Did that house have major problems. Yes, horrible problems. Problems most of the people in that immediate family still choose not to discuss to this day. Did I know about these problems? Absolutely. My father would keep us informed on all the "bad stuff".
Here's the funny thing though. I would have given up my mother and father for Melba and Dave in a minute. Switched houses in a second. And strangely enough just 2 years later that propostion presented itself. And I leaped into that New Religion in a heart beat. Danielle I have never sang that song incorrectly since.
Duran had just released their No-No-Notorious Album. I asked my father if my cousin Danielle could spend the night so we could listen to Duran's new Album. My father is not one of my favourite people on this planet. He always disdained his brother Dave & his wife Melba, Danielle's parents. Interestingly I call them Dad & Mom now. For whatever reasons, my father never hated one person from our extended family; my cousin Danielle. He always loved her wholeheartedly. And to his credit sometimes he was the coolest mutha on the planet. He said, of course Danille can come over. Just keep your door shut, keep it down and have fun. For anyone reading this that knows my father you know what I'm talking about. Dicotomy in personality.
So Danielle comes over with all of her tapes and records (yes young people, tapes and records. See: Ancient Ruins). BTW I owe my Duraniedom to D. I also owe my Thompson Twindom to her... Oh but that is SO A DIFFERENT STORY... Cue: TO-KY-O! Why can't I ever say no TO-KY-O! HA!HA!
So Danielle is over and my mom has prepared us soft drinks and snacks to eat all night. Mom has always been cool like that. D & I walk into my room and shut the door. We wouldn't be bothered that night. We were in the Duran sanctuary that was my room. Danielle and I put down a blanket and pillows on my bedroom floor and start listening to Notorious. We both have headphones on and are digging the new album. After a while Danielle asked if I wanted to sing New Religion together. Ugh, my heart stopped.
New Religion is a brilliant song on Duran's second album 'Rio'. Ok, it's 1986. I know Duran really well. And like I said I know Duran really well because of Danielle. I attribute half of my musical taste to her guidance for fuck's sake. But I so didn't want to do it. I was so afraid I couldn't get the word's timing right.
Ok so here is the thing, 'New Religion' isn't your normal song. It's Simon at his best. It's a conversation between the ego and the alter ego. It's a back and forth so quick it will make a non-Duranies head spin like a top. Now I'm gonna be signing it with Danielle laying prone on a blanket and pillows!? Usually we would have a big rehearsal and dress-up session before we performed. In the mid-late eighties we would only perform for ourselves. Oh would that change in the early '90s.
With that said, of course I agree cause Danielle was my musical guide. So we both have the Rio album and each pull out the sleeves with the lyrics on them. Oh, the good ol' days. We dump the headphones so we can hear each other singing along with the lyrics.
Before I go on I would just like to say this is the first time in my life I knew what it was like to laugh so hard I thought I was actually going to hurt myself physically without the intention of doing so. Ruptured spleen, broken ribs possibly. Brain aneurysm, perhaps. Wetting one's pants, uh... maybe?
So we start the tape. Thank Duran for putting 'New Religion' as song 6. 1st song on side 2 of 'Rio'. That way we could just keep rewinding it to the beggining of side 2. Otherwise I still may have never known how to sing the song properly to this day. No seriously, there is a proper way to sing it.
Try #1
Me: I've been now sauntering out and down a path sometime
Come on it takes me nowhere which I know
Faces everywhere pulling grins and signs and things
Telling me not there man it's no go don't go there boy
Danielle: No! Stop!
Me: What!?
Danielle: Rewind it. I'm the alter ego, I say "Don't go there boy"
Me: Damn!
Try #2-#4 (Same Thing)
Try #5 ( We get it right, finally) But then this...
Me: I need a reason (I can't think without one now)
Too much learning got to show
Danielle: No! STOP! I sing 'I can't think without one now'
Danielle: Laughing so hard she is making me laugh and we can't even push rewind on the tape.
Try #6 (20 minutes later, we could not stop laughing)
TAPE REWOUND:
Me: Totally sung 'Don't go there Boy' AGAIN!
Danielle: That was my line! She is laughing so hard again. I am like, F-me! It took us forever to get that first one right and now I screwed it up again, I am bawling laughing cause Danielle can't stop laughing...
Try #7 (15-20 minutes later)
Me: "Maybe catch her don't know how"
Danielle: Laughter like no laughter you have ever heard in your life... No!
She cries out! She is now in classic Danielle mode (My favourite mode of Danielle ever) ie: laughing so hard she is crying. Anyone who has ever spent any decent amount of time with Danielle (when she isn't stressed) knows this Danielle. She literally can't speak. I think hear vocal chords actually disappear. I honestly do. She holds her stomach and stares at you, her face turns red and tears are literally rolling down her face. It is one of the most beaufiful things a human being can ever experience. If you have never seen it you might think she is having a stroke. And then it comes out... the BEST LAUGH EVER... That beautiful gasping laugh! Vocal chords are back! Or at least that's what Danielle's brain is telling her vocal chords. In fact the part of Danielle's brain that is telling her vocal chords they are working is being circumvented by that other part of her brain that is saying WE ARE GOIN TO LAUGH AND WE ARE GOING TO LAUGH FOR A VERY VERY VERY VERY LONG TIME!Danielle starts to speak and is comes out like this... "lhalhrrry... Yohhhuuu Fuuuukked up myy dearrrrr."
I LOSE IT! I was already laughing hard. Shit, we were both laughing so hard we were already on our sides. (you can't laugh as hard as D & I do and still be laying on your bellies) I am gasping for air so hard now I have to crawl up onto my bed and I piddle a bit in my pants). SO what do I do? I try to get my words out... Danieeeeel.. "Danieelll, Duh, Duh, Dee, Danyullll... I just peeed!!!!
That was it... We LAUGHED SO HARD it wasn't even funny. We could not stop!!!!
We laughed for an eternity. I was in the fetal postion on my bed. If I didnt get into that postion I would have pissed everywhere. Danielle was still on the floor and rolled away cause she couldnt look at me.
After what seemed like an eternity she finally stood up and never said a word and walk out of my bedroom and went to the bathroom. She walked back in a few minutes later and as soon as she walked in I started rolling. I couldn't help it. To steal an expression my mom always uses. I had my giggle box turned upside down. Danielle bursts into laughfter and sits against the other bed in my room. I can't even look at her. I jump up and bolt, legs-crossed out of the room. I relieve myslef in the bathroom. I walk to the other end of my house where the living room/kitchen are and act like I'm looking for food. Opening cabinents and the fridge. I opened and re-opened everything. I couldn't walk right back in. I couldn't. I would have just started rolling.
So on my trip to the other end of the house I saw my sperm donor (thank you Sean for that term) and my mom watching TV and my mom was smiling at me and my Sperm Donor was smiling too.
I was in a bit of a twilight Zone. But I didn't question it, shit... you dont question when things are good. Instead I went back to my room and as soon as I walked in Danielle and I stared rolling. Seriously rolling. It was the heaviest silent laughter one could ever manage or imagine for that manner. Every single person reading this knows exactly what I'm talking about. Danielle and I were on a high. A high of Diet Pepsi and pretzels.
So the next 30+ tries came with me and Danielle switching ego/alter ego parts numerous times. And we FINALLY got up to this line:
Try #39
Me: Gotta take pay from the paints 'n' sinners, in regulation hats 'n scarves 'n
things
Danielle (laughing unabated) No. no. no. no. Larry who is painting the sinners?
Me: I didn't say that!
Danielle: YES! YOU DID!
ME: AGAIN!
Try#40-#60: Now mind you... we started the song over from the beginning EVERY TIME. Our goal was to get all the way through it once without a single mistake. We killed that hope as soon as Danielle and I layed that blanket and those pillows down. As soon as Danielle and I giggled once we were done. Done in the best of ways.
I don't remember the exact number of times it took for us to get it right. I remember it was over 80, less than 100. But WE DID IT!
US: Gotta take pay from the saints 'n' sinners, in regulation hats 'n scarves 'n things
Walking in formation down the lane. They carry their cross make a church bell
ring
Army majors pull a mean cool truth, they're a-lying in the swimming pool
Searching for the undeniable truth, that a man is just a fool
We spent 5 hours on that one song, us singing it correctly. Ego/Alter Ego. With all of the laughter in between. Once we got it right we didnt even laugh we were so exhausted from laughing so much we just hugged. And then of course had to do it the other way. We had agreed to that half way through the night. It only took us 3 or 4 times to get it right after switching parts. I think it was because we were so tired and had stopped laughing so much and since we finally nailed it once it wasnt a problem to switch parts.
'New Religion' is one of the most intelligent, beautiful songs ever written. I had always loved that song but it wasn't until that sleep over with my cousin (SISTER) Danielle that night in November '86 that I understood what a song, not just 'New Religion' but any song, could mean to any one person. My immediate family was disentegrating at this point. I hated waking up into that family. I was so happy to hang out at Danielle's familys house (4 houses away) before and after school. Did that house have major problems. Yes, horrible problems. Problems most of the people in that immediate family still choose not to discuss to this day. Did I know about these problems? Absolutely. My father would keep us informed on all the "bad stuff".
Here's the funny thing though. I would have given up my mother and father for Melba and Dave in a minute. Switched houses in a second. And strangely enough just 2 years later that propostion presented itself. And I leaped into that New Religion in a heart beat. Danielle I have never sang that song incorrectly since.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Z before A except after Y profound happiness amongst chaos Mix PART ONE
A couple days in July & 1 more in August 2008
So it's May and Mike calls me screaming into the phone, "The CA Supreme Court just, they just... We can get married!!!!!" I am sitting in my office with what must be the blankest stare ever. I knew the court was rendering their verdict that morning but I didn't tune it. What can I say, I'm used to things not going our way. I don't know what I said back. I don't remember the conversation. Absolutely do not. It could have been five seconds or five minutes. I honestly don't remember. What I do remember was smiling. Smiling a lot. I told my office mates and every last one of them came up and hugged me one by one. Their support was overwhelming. After the love-fest I just continued to sit there. Heroin could not be a better high. The next thing I remember was a phone call from one of the world's greatest human beings, my friend Amie. We go way back. I met her in 10TH grade. Mrs. Butler's English class. I hated her. Mrs. Butler had given us an assignment to write a poem within certain parameters. She picked the "best" five and handed them out to the class the next day. Amie was on there as well as I. I followed the directions. She did not. She also never shut-the-fuck-up in class. Did I mention that I hated her?
So Amie calls me and says, "So am I your best man or am I marrying you?" I told her there are only two people in my life that I would consider for my best man and my cousin Danielle can't legally marry people. That was easy. For the record Amie can legally marry people and there is no other person on the planet dead or living I would rather have officiate our wedding. So it's been like 10 minutes since Mike's call and we are getting married and I have someone to marry us. Have you ever been in a daze without being in an accident? Little did I know this daze wouldn't end for about 2 weeks. By the way, I had asked Mike to marry me a few months after we met in Vegas. I told him the only condition is that we would only do it when it was legal. And now, finally, it was.
My first call was to Danielle to ask her to be my best man. I don't remember the call well. I remember a very choked-up voice and an immediate YES! I think she might have said, "What the fuck do you think!?" as well but like I said, A DAZE... So for the next six weeks Danielle & Jon (Danielle's husband) who I will from this blog forward always refer to as My Fucking Hero, as I do in life, agree to help us out in any and every way possible.
I was never interested in the idea of "getting-married". I never thought it would be a possibility so why even care about it? Well, I can honestly say I truly get-it now. It's an incredible experience. The prepping for one however is fucking Stress-UPON-STRESS. It's the town next to where Shakespeare grew up. Mike and I were losing our minds. We were planning the wedding everyday. We had less than six months to plan because we knew the hate mongers would be putting a ballot measure to repeal our right to marry on the California ballot in November. Turns out the measure finally got a number a couple weeks later, 8.
Danielle, Amie, Donna, Jessica, & Pam were all hard at work helping with everything you could possibly imagine to do with the wedding. Thankfully another one of my favourite people on this planet and dear friend Sean whom I also met on Depeche Mode's 2001 Exciter Tour, 'Tour of Pain' had texted and said he was going to be in L.A. for work on the dates that YAZ was going to be there. YAZ! YAZOO! However you choose to spell the name, YAZ was coming to town on their reunion tour 25 years after their premature break-up. What word describes how I felt about being able to see YAZ perform? I wrote this story earlier and had a 'come back to this' mark on it and I still can't come up with a word. Maybe it's because there isn't a word. So without a word I will just give you my reasons:
One: YAZ live. Are you fucking kidding me!? Alison & Vince together LIVE! FUCK YES!
Two: Danielle, who introduced me to YAZ would be there! (Story in a future blog)
Three: Sean will be there, haven't seen him in way-too-long.
Four: Alison and Vince. Together. Alison and fucking Vince TO-FUCKING-GETHER!
So I am reeling. Not normal reeling. I am Peter Murphy 'Roll Call' reeeeeeling. Really. Reeling. Really! I am going to see YAZ with Michael, Danielle & Sean at the Orpheum Theatre in L.A. Words to describe... I have none.
So Sean and I text and email for the next few weeks daily. With the exception of couple months (My Fault)us messaging back and forth is the norm; has been for seven years. We are all going to get tickets when they go on sale. Then one day Sean says he has tickets. I fucked-up. Tickets went on sale the day before I thought they would. I look up the tickets available and they were pretty much shit. I am, needless to say, pissed.
Blog Note: I said I would be completely honest in this blog and I have been and always will be. I am however going to have to abbreviate this next part because certain people turned out to not be the people I thought they were. I don't care to mention names here nor will I ever again. Four years of my life wasted helping someone, an organization that would in the end try to crush my life.
I now have amazing tickets waiting for me in a Beverly Hills office. Night one July 10: Sean & Myself. July 11: Michael, Danielle, Sean, Myself and Amie & Kim. In the end Amie & Kim couldn't make it. Did it hurt? Yes. Did I understand? Absolutely! A few days before the show I book my hotel & my train ticket. Mike & I have only one car so I use the train quite a bit when I wanna go up and see my friends in Anaheim/L.A. Yes East Coasters we actually have trains here on the unsophisticated Left-Coast you smug fucks.
July 10: I leave work at noon. One of my assistants drive me to the train station. I get on and listen to YAZ all the way up. I have a few beers. That's how I roll. By the way, if you have never taken the train from San Diego to L.A. you really need to do so. It is one of the most beautiful rides ever. Right Danielle? If you sit on the west side of the train all through San Diego County it's ALL PACIFIC OCEAN. Gorgeous. YAZ is blaring in my headphones. I am listening to 'You & Me Both' over and over again. One song in particular, 'Walk Away From Love' I have on repeat because Sean had told me a story a few months earlier about it. It was a great story about him and his friends driving around in their High School days listening to it so I wanted to know it really well if they played it live.
I get to Union Station in L.A. and I realize I don't have the credit card I booked my room with. I look further and realize I don't have any card. Not even my debit card. FUCK ME. I call Mike even though I knew he was in an all day meeting at his work. (voicemail) I call Danielle and she was her usual Danielle self and said, "we will fix this, give me 5 minutes." Yeah. I know. AWESOME anyone? The one thing I told her was please DO NOT CALL JON! I don't wanna bother him. He's been working all day and still has to drive all the way home to you guys. Granted L.A. & Anaheim are only 25 miles from each other but that means a 90 minute drive home during rush hour. (that's even with Jon's secret paths) If you add my bullshit into it that's an additional 2+ hours EASY.
So long story short Jon works for the city of L.A. I didn't text Jon because it was Thursday and there is no way I'm gonna bother My Fucking Hero to come down and rescue me because I fucked-up! NO-FUCKING-WAY! Danielle assures me that she won't call Jon. We disconnect. I lite a cig in the NON-SMOKING ZONE that is California. Before I get two drags out Danielle is ringing me. Hello? Go to your hotel. Jon will be there in 15 minutes. DANIELLE!!!! I told you... SHUT-THE-FUCK-UP Larry! Go to your hotel. GO now! Danielle, thank you, I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU MORE. 'Click' So happy and so pissed (I'm gonna strangle my cousin when I see her tomorrow night!) I get in my taxi put on my headphones and play 'Midnight' Danielle's fav YAZ song.
I get to the hotel and am standing outside. Jon calls me and asks where I am. I say I'm standing out front. He says no, I am standing out front. Don't you just hate it when hotels have names that sound the same? We are only 5 blocks away but in downtown L.A. it takes him another 40 minutes to get to me. He pulls up and I tell him the tickets are in Beverly Hills. Without the slightest bit of inconvenience in his voice hes say let's go. (Our drive over and back will be a separate blog).
An hour and a half later we get back to the hotel. Tickets in hand! Jon checks me into my room. We walk in and I get ready for the show while we are laughing our asses off about anything and everything because that's what Jon and I do. We LAUGH. We LAUGH. We LOVE. WE LAUGH. WE LOVE & then we LAUGH AGAIN! Did I mention he is My Fucking Hero? I'm dressed ready to get to the show. Sean said he had to do work stuff all day but would pick me up. It won't be for a half hour or so. I ask Jon, Hey you wanna get a beer? Jon said, no, I never have just a beer. Cue smiles and laughter.
Jon & I are sitting at the hotel bar downtown enjoying our 2ND beer. Sean calls and says he's on said freeway and is going to take another freeway & Jon says no. Tell him to take this route. If he keeps on that way he is going to be in major traffic. Jon & I enjoy another beer. We laugh at some of the people at the bar but mostly talk about life. I couldn't ask for a better beginning to a night. Jon stands up and says I will see you soon. We hug hard and I am sad so see My Hero walk Away. I make my way to the hotel lobby and then to the valet. I push the doors open and Sean pulls up. Jon timed it fucking perfectly. How the fuck does one do that!? I mean I was literally walking through the fucking doors! I walk to the car with a huge smile on my face and a contentment in my heart. It's Sean! I haven't seen the guy in forever. I get in and we do the awkward side way car hug. He's looking at me and I'm looking at him and we have the craziest, stupid smiles on our faces. I remember giggling like and idiot. I remember I kept saying, Dude. Every time I said it he would respond, I know. Yes, we are idiots. But the good kind of idiots. The idiots that appreciate they are about to see something so few people have ever seen. And more than that, given the people that had witnessed it so few of those people would appreciate more than us. Idiots!
So we get to the Orpheum and get a drink and hang out in the lobby with a few people for a few minutes. After twenty minutes or so we make our way to our seats. 6TH Row SIDE: Alison. We don't talk much, the anticipation is robbing of us our vocal chords. What happened next I will never forget: LIGHTS OUT:
CROWD: Deafening
Vince: takes his place behind his keyboard
Alison: takes her place behind her mic.
Vince: Da da da da da da-da da da da-da. Da da da da da da-da da da da-da
Crowd: Deafening...
I look at Sean with this look on my face: Are you fucking kidding ME!?!?!?!?!?!?
Alison: "If I wait for just a second more..."
(PART II Next SUNDAY)
So it's May and Mike calls me screaming into the phone, "The CA Supreme Court just, they just... We can get married!!!!!" I am sitting in my office with what must be the blankest stare ever. I knew the court was rendering their verdict that morning but I didn't tune it. What can I say, I'm used to things not going our way. I don't know what I said back. I don't remember the conversation. Absolutely do not. It could have been five seconds or five minutes. I honestly don't remember. What I do remember was smiling. Smiling a lot. I told my office mates and every last one of them came up and hugged me one by one. Their support was overwhelming. After the love-fest I just continued to sit there. Heroin could not be a better high. The next thing I remember was a phone call from one of the world's greatest human beings, my friend Amie. We go way back. I met her in 10TH grade. Mrs. Butler's English class. I hated her. Mrs. Butler had given us an assignment to write a poem within certain parameters. She picked the "best" five and handed them out to the class the next day. Amie was on there as well as I. I followed the directions. She did not. She also never shut-the-fuck-up in class. Did I mention that I hated her?
So Amie calls me and says, "So am I your best man or am I marrying you?" I told her there are only two people in my life that I would consider for my best man and my cousin Danielle can't legally marry people. That was easy. For the record Amie can legally marry people and there is no other person on the planet dead or living I would rather have officiate our wedding. So it's been like 10 minutes since Mike's call and we are getting married and I have someone to marry us. Have you ever been in a daze without being in an accident? Little did I know this daze wouldn't end for about 2 weeks. By the way, I had asked Mike to marry me a few months after we met in Vegas. I told him the only condition is that we would only do it when it was legal. And now, finally, it was.
My first call was to Danielle to ask her to be my best man. I don't remember the call well. I remember a very choked-up voice and an immediate YES! I think she might have said, "What the fuck do you think!?" as well but like I said, A DAZE... So for the next six weeks Danielle & Jon (Danielle's husband) who I will from this blog forward always refer to as My Fucking Hero, as I do in life, agree to help us out in any and every way possible.
I was never interested in the idea of "getting-married". I never thought it would be a possibility so why even care about it? Well, I can honestly say I truly get-it now. It's an incredible experience. The prepping for one however is fucking Stress-UPON-STRESS. It's the town next to where Shakespeare grew up. Mike and I were losing our minds. We were planning the wedding everyday. We had less than six months to plan because we knew the hate mongers would be putting a ballot measure to repeal our right to marry on the California ballot in November. Turns out the measure finally got a number a couple weeks later, 8.
Danielle, Amie, Donna, Jessica, & Pam were all hard at work helping with everything you could possibly imagine to do with the wedding. Thankfully another one of my favourite people on this planet and dear friend Sean whom I also met on Depeche Mode's 2001 Exciter Tour, 'Tour of Pain' had texted and said he was going to be in L.A. for work on the dates that YAZ was going to be there. YAZ! YAZOO! However you choose to spell the name, YAZ was coming to town on their reunion tour 25 years after their premature break-up. What word describes how I felt about being able to see YAZ perform? I wrote this story earlier and had a 'come back to this' mark on it and I still can't come up with a word. Maybe it's because there isn't a word. So without a word I will just give you my reasons:
One: YAZ live. Are you fucking kidding me!? Alison & Vince together LIVE! FUCK YES!
Two: Danielle, who introduced me to YAZ would be there! (Story in a future blog)
Three: Sean will be there, haven't seen him in way-too-long.
Four: Alison and Vince. Together. Alison and fucking Vince TO-FUCKING-GETHER!
So I am reeling. Not normal reeling. I am Peter Murphy 'Roll Call' reeeeeeling. Really. Reeling. Really! I am going to see YAZ with Michael, Danielle & Sean at the Orpheum Theatre in L.A. Words to describe... I have none.
So Sean and I text and email for the next few weeks daily. With the exception of couple months (My Fault)us messaging back and forth is the norm; has been for seven years. We are all going to get tickets when they go on sale. Then one day Sean says he has tickets. I fucked-up. Tickets went on sale the day before I thought they would. I look up the tickets available and they were pretty much shit. I am, needless to say, pissed.
Blog Note: I said I would be completely honest in this blog and I have been and always will be. I am however going to have to abbreviate this next part because certain people turned out to not be the people I thought they were. I don't care to mention names here nor will I ever again. Four years of my life wasted helping someone, an organization that would in the end try to crush my life.
I now have amazing tickets waiting for me in a Beverly Hills office. Night one July 10: Sean & Myself. July 11: Michael, Danielle, Sean, Myself and Amie & Kim. In the end Amie & Kim couldn't make it. Did it hurt? Yes. Did I understand? Absolutely! A few days before the show I book my hotel & my train ticket. Mike & I have only one car so I use the train quite a bit when I wanna go up and see my friends in Anaheim/L.A. Yes East Coasters we actually have trains here on the unsophisticated Left-Coast you smug fucks.
July 10: I leave work at noon. One of my assistants drive me to the train station. I get on and listen to YAZ all the way up. I have a few beers. That's how I roll. By the way, if you have never taken the train from San Diego to L.A. you really need to do so. It is one of the most beautiful rides ever. Right Danielle? If you sit on the west side of the train all through San Diego County it's ALL PACIFIC OCEAN. Gorgeous. YAZ is blaring in my headphones. I am listening to 'You & Me Both' over and over again. One song in particular, 'Walk Away From Love' I have on repeat because Sean had told me a story a few months earlier about it. It was a great story about him and his friends driving around in their High School days listening to it so I wanted to know it really well if they played it live.
I get to Union Station in L.A. and I realize I don't have the credit card I booked my room with. I look further and realize I don't have any card. Not even my debit card. FUCK ME. I call Mike even though I knew he was in an all day meeting at his work. (voicemail) I call Danielle and she was her usual Danielle self and said, "we will fix this, give me 5 minutes." Yeah. I know. AWESOME anyone? The one thing I told her was please DO NOT CALL JON! I don't wanna bother him. He's been working all day and still has to drive all the way home to you guys. Granted L.A. & Anaheim are only 25 miles from each other but that means a 90 minute drive home during rush hour. (that's even with Jon's secret paths) If you add my bullshit into it that's an additional 2+ hours EASY.
So long story short Jon works for the city of L.A. I didn't text Jon because it was Thursday and there is no way I'm gonna bother My Fucking Hero to come down and rescue me because I fucked-up! NO-FUCKING-WAY! Danielle assures me that she won't call Jon. We disconnect. I lite a cig in the NON-SMOKING ZONE that is California. Before I get two drags out Danielle is ringing me. Hello? Go to your hotel. Jon will be there in 15 minutes. DANIELLE!!!! I told you... SHUT-THE-FUCK-UP Larry! Go to your hotel. GO now! Danielle, thank you, I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU MORE. 'Click' So happy and so pissed (I'm gonna strangle my cousin when I see her tomorrow night!) I get in my taxi put on my headphones and play 'Midnight' Danielle's fav YAZ song.
I get to the hotel and am standing outside. Jon calls me and asks where I am. I say I'm standing out front. He says no, I am standing out front. Don't you just hate it when hotels have names that sound the same? We are only 5 blocks away but in downtown L.A. it takes him another 40 minutes to get to me. He pulls up and I tell him the tickets are in Beverly Hills. Without the slightest bit of inconvenience in his voice hes say let's go. (Our drive over and back will be a separate blog).
An hour and a half later we get back to the hotel. Tickets in hand! Jon checks me into my room. We walk in and I get ready for the show while we are laughing our asses off about anything and everything because that's what Jon and I do. We LAUGH. We LAUGH. We LOVE. WE LAUGH. WE LOVE & then we LAUGH AGAIN! Did I mention he is My Fucking Hero? I'm dressed ready to get to the show. Sean said he had to do work stuff all day but would pick me up. It won't be for a half hour or so. I ask Jon, Hey you wanna get a beer? Jon said, no, I never have just a beer. Cue smiles and laughter.
Jon & I are sitting at the hotel bar downtown enjoying our 2ND beer. Sean calls and says he's on said freeway and is going to take another freeway & Jon says no. Tell him to take this route. If he keeps on that way he is going to be in major traffic. Jon & I enjoy another beer. We laugh at some of the people at the bar but mostly talk about life. I couldn't ask for a better beginning to a night. Jon stands up and says I will see you soon. We hug hard and I am sad so see My Hero walk Away. I make my way to the hotel lobby and then to the valet. I push the doors open and Sean pulls up. Jon timed it fucking perfectly. How the fuck does one do that!? I mean I was literally walking through the fucking doors! I walk to the car with a huge smile on my face and a contentment in my heart. It's Sean! I haven't seen the guy in forever. I get in and we do the awkward side way car hug. He's looking at me and I'm looking at him and we have the craziest, stupid smiles on our faces. I remember giggling like and idiot. I remember I kept saying, Dude. Every time I said it he would respond, I know. Yes, we are idiots. But the good kind of idiots. The idiots that appreciate they are about to see something so few people have ever seen. And more than that, given the people that had witnessed it so few of those people would appreciate more than us. Idiots!
So we get to the Orpheum and get a drink and hang out in the lobby with a few people for a few minutes. After twenty minutes or so we make our way to our seats. 6TH Row SIDE: Alison. We don't talk much, the anticipation is robbing of us our vocal chords. What happened next I will never forget: LIGHTS OUT:
CROWD: Deafening
Vince: takes his place behind his keyboard
Alison: takes her place behind her mic.
Vince: Da da da da da da-da da da da-da. Da da da da da da-da da da da-da
Crowd: Deafening...
I look at Sean with this look on my face: Are you fucking kidding ME!?!?!?!?!?!?
Alison: "If I wait for just a second more..."
(PART II Next SUNDAY)
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Tunnels & Vision
Prologue:
This is a blog about my life through my Musiqke: be it a moment, be it a cd, be it a season, be it side II of a tape I couldn't stop listening to that I rewound so much it snapped and had to tape it again, be it a concert, be it when you were screaming "I FUCKING HATE YOU!" in a parking lot, be it a scratched 12" version of 'The Promise' which I no longer have, be it sitting in a car wondering what to do or listening to your future wedding song. It is no matter. Because it all matters. It matters to me.
The song Stripped by Depeche Mode is my favourite song ever. I have the symbol of the song tattooed on my body. My only tattoo. It means that much to me. I don't know why this song means so much to me. I truly do not. For lack of better phraseology it sang to me. Ridiculous? Sure. Am I being honest? I wouldn't respond to my best friend if they asked me that because that person knows it true & would never ask.
Stripped inspired me to do this & this weblog will be completely honest but I don't want anyone to worry. If I've know you for 3 months or 30 years I am going to talk about you, however, I'm going to focus on the Musiqke that got me through 'that time', Bad, GOOD, torturous or AMAZING. This is my "Stripped down to the bone" story, not yours so please feel you are all safe. I will make you ALL that promise right now. Ultimately this is my life in it's entirety but completely out of sequence through My Musiqke.
Summer: 2004 San Diego CA
I am working as a bellman at The Catamaran Hotel in Mission Beach. I am seriously LOVING MY LIFE RIGHT NOW! Mike & I live in Hillcrest the coolest part of San Diego. Oh, and the Gayest place on the planet save the obvious places, West Hollywood, Rio De Janiero, The West Village, The Castro District, Rufus Wainwright's butt, you know. We've been in our new place for a few months. Michael & I. Michael. I love that fucking word. Actually I am in love with that word. A friend I met three years ago on 'The Tour of Pain' and am slowly losing touch with told me she saw this band, The Scissor Sisters live a few months before open for another band whose name I do not remember. She said they were BRILLIANT & are going to be on SNL. So that un-numbered Saturday I tuned in and laughed at what I saw. The music was fun/EXCELLENT & I loved their cover of Pink Floyd's 'Comfortably Numb' but I was upset. The lead singer Jake Shears was dressed, uh, let's say "kinda" flamboyant. I was like, don't dress like that and NOT-BE-GAY, your giving my people a bad name. After SNL was over Mike got off the computer and went to bed. I got online and looked up The Scissor Sisters. Hey, Larry, you fucking judgemental fucking prick. YOU WERE WRONG.
So it turns out the Scissor Sisters are 5 people: 4 guys & 1 gal. 3 of the guys are gay & the other guy & the gal are straight. I'm intrigued, I surf the web for hours scoping out every single bit of info I can on these guys. I am losing my mind that an ALMOST ALL GAY BAND was on SNL!?!?!?!? NOTE TO STRAIGHTIES: THIS DOSEN'T FUCKING HAPPEN!!!!!!! I was up til 6AM looking at really shaking/shoty 20-47 second 1 1/2 minute clips of them live all over England. Apparently they were really big there eventhough they're from here. NYC! The next day after work Mike & I went to Tower Records. I saw online that they already had a live docu-show dvd out. I searched everywhere, couldn't find it. After 40 minutes of mopeing around the store Mike walks up and smiles and holds the stores only copy in his hand. [MICHAEL!:D]
I put on the video when I get home and learn their motto is "None of us are Lesbians." I of course do the math in my head: 3 gay guys, obviously not Vagitarians or else they'd be straight. 1 straight girl likes guys & Paddy Boom (the drummer)is straight so the motto is correct! My dick gets so hard you cant even fucking imagine! This is my Gay version of Depeche Mode. Yes, I said it. Gay Depeche Mode! And no, Gay Depeche Mode is NOT DEPECHE MODE & definitely is NOT DURAN DURAN! Nick likes more pussy than a male cat with lipstick. Btw, I like that neither of those bands care if they are called GAY. Badge of honour anyone?
So for that summer I get off work a couple hours earlier than Mike. Me 2pm, Mike 4-5pm. I always go to the local farmers market and get fresh veggies and meat and prepare our dinner every single day while rocking out to my new GAY DEPECHE MODE! Happiness? That word isn't happy enough to describe how I felt. I truly used to feel like everyone could understand the feeling when you had something AMAZING & GAY to look forward to/watch/listen to, like Will & Grace for example: That show isn't just funny it means ALOT to ALOT of people. Everyone else just can't understand that. Unless you're gay. I've given up on the belief that people can truly feel you in this way. Empathize? ABSOLUTELY! That's why my friends are my friends but to truly understand how it feels to have a band that you really, really, really fucking dig & have them be for the most part queer is a feeling I can not and would not even try to put into words. I will always remember that first summer here in San Diego as the year I discovered that Brilliant American Band that America forgot. And the music? The Scissor Sisters aren't Music to me. They are My Musiqke.
Those were a few weeks in 2004.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Do yourself a favour & cut & paste these 2 clips:
It Can't Come Quickly Enough
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mq4KjGJPgjo
"It Can't Come Quickly Enough"
Sailling through the tunnels
In the morning by yourself
There's a very special feeling
True sensation all is well
If you stand and reach your arms out wide
Close your eyes and try to fly
It's an underground illusion
Tricking you from side to side
We knew all the answers
And we shouted them like anthems
Anxious and suspicious
That God knew how much we cheated
It can't come quickly enough
And now you've spent your life
Waiting for this moment
And when you finally saw it come
It passed you by and left you so defeated
Skyscrapers rise between us
Keeping me from finding you
If the concrete architecture
Dissapeared there'd be so few
Of us left to navigate and
Defend ourselves from the tide
It's an underground illusion
Tricking you from side to side
There's no indication of
What we were meant to be
Sucking up to strangers
Throwing wishes to the sea
It can't come quickly enough
And now you've spent your life
Waiting for this moment
And when you finally saw it come
It passed you by and
Left you so defeated
RETURN TO OZ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bT60Nyk7XHk
"Return To Oz"
Once there was a man
who had a little too much time on his hands
he never stopped to think that he was getting older.
When his night came to an end
He tried to grasp for his last friend and pretend
That he could wish himself health on a four-leaf clover
He said is this the return to Oz?
The grass is dead, the gold is brown and the sky has claws
There's a wind-up man walking round and round
What once was Emerald City is now a crystal town
Its three o' clock in the morning
You get a phone call from the queen with a hundred heads
She says that they're all dead
She tried the last one on
It couldn't speak, fell off
And now she just wanders the halls
Thinking nothing, thinking nothing at all
She says is this the return to Oz?
The grass is dead, the gold is brown and the sky has claws
There's a wind-up man walking round and round
What once was Emerald City is now a crystal town
The wheelies are cutting pavement
and the Skeksis at the rave meant
to hide deep inside
their sunken faces
and their wild, rolling eyes
But their callous words reveal
That they can no longer feel
Love or sex appeal
The patchwork girl has come to cinch the deal
To return to Oz we've fled the world
With smiles and clenching jaws
Please help me friend from coming down
I've lost my place and now it can't be found
Is this the return to Oz?
The grass is dead, the gold is brown and the sky has claws
There's a wind-up man walking round and round
What once was Emerald City is now a crystal town
This is a blog about my life through my Musiqke: be it a moment, be it a cd, be it a season, be it side II of a tape I couldn't stop listening to that I rewound so much it snapped and had to tape it again, be it a concert, be it when you were screaming "I FUCKING HATE YOU!" in a parking lot, be it a scratched 12" version of 'The Promise' which I no longer have, be it sitting in a car wondering what to do or listening to your future wedding song. It is no matter. Because it all matters. It matters to me.
The song Stripped by Depeche Mode is my favourite song ever. I have the symbol of the song tattooed on my body. My only tattoo. It means that much to me. I don't know why this song means so much to me. I truly do not. For lack of better phraseology it sang to me. Ridiculous? Sure. Am I being honest? I wouldn't respond to my best friend if they asked me that because that person knows it true & would never ask.
Stripped inspired me to do this & this weblog will be completely honest but I don't want anyone to worry. If I've know you for 3 months or 30 years I am going to talk about you, however, I'm going to focus on the Musiqke that got me through 'that time', Bad, GOOD, torturous or AMAZING. This is my "Stripped down to the bone" story, not yours so please feel you are all safe. I will make you ALL that promise right now. Ultimately this is my life in it's entirety but completely out of sequence through My Musiqke.
Summer: 2004 San Diego CA
I am working as a bellman at The Catamaran Hotel in Mission Beach. I am seriously LOVING MY LIFE RIGHT NOW! Mike & I live in Hillcrest the coolest part of San Diego. Oh, and the Gayest place on the planet save the obvious places, West Hollywood, Rio De Janiero, The West Village, The Castro District, Rufus Wainwright's butt, you know. We've been in our new place for a few months. Michael & I. Michael. I love that fucking word. Actually I am in love with that word. A friend I met three years ago on 'The Tour of Pain' and am slowly losing touch with told me she saw this band, The Scissor Sisters live a few months before open for another band whose name I do not remember. She said they were BRILLIANT & are going to be on SNL. So that un-numbered Saturday I tuned in and laughed at what I saw. The music was fun/EXCELLENT & I loved their cover of Pink Floyd's 'Comfortably Numb' but I was upset. The lead singer Jake Shears was dressed, uh, let's say "kinda" flamboyant. I was like, don't dress like that and NOT-BE-GAY, your giving my people a bad name. After SNL was over Mike got off the computer and went to bed. I got online and looked up The Scissor Sisters. Hey, Larry, you fucking judgemental fucking prick. YOU WERE WRONG.
So it turns out the Scissor Sisters are 5 people: 4 guys & 1 gal. 3 of the guys are gay & the other guy & the gal are straight. I'm intrigued, I surf the web for hours scoping out every single bit of info I can on these guys. I am losing my mind that an ALMOST ALL GAY BAND was on SNL!?!?!?!? NOTE TO STRAIGHTIES: THIS DOSEN'T FUCKING HAPPEN!!!!!!! I was up til 6AM looking at really shaking/shoty 20-47 second 1 1/2 minute clips of them live all over England. Apparently they were really big there eventhough they're from here. NYC! The next day after work Mike & I went to Tower Records. I saw online that they already had a live docu-show dvd out. I searched everywhere, couldn't find it. After 40 minutes of mopeing around the store Mike walks up and smiles and holds the stores only copy in his hand. [MICHAEL!:D]
I put on the video when I get home and learn their motto is "None of us are Lesbians." I of course do the math in my head: 3 gay guys, obviously not Vagitarians or else they'd be straight. 1 straight girl likes guys & Paddy Boom (the drummer)is straight so the motto is correct! My dick gets so hard you cant even fucking imagine! This is my Gay version of Depeche Mode. Yes, I said it. Gay Depeche Mode! And no, Gay Depeche Mode is NOT DEPECHE MODE & definitely is NOT DURAN DURAN! Nick likes more pussy than a male cat with lipstick. Btw, I like that neither of those bands care if they are called GAY. Badge of honour anyone?
So for that summer I get off work a couple hours earlier than Mike. Me 2pm, Mike 4-5pm. I always go to the local farmers market and get fresh veggies and meat and prepare our dinner every single day while rocking out to my new GAY DEPECHE MODE! Happiness? That word isn't happy enough to describe how I felt. I truly used to feel like everyone could understand the feeling when you had something AMAZING & GAY to look forward to/watch/listen to, like Will & Grace for example: That show isn't just funny it means ALOT to ALOT of people. Everyone else just can't understand that. Unless you're gay. I've given up on the belief that people can truly feel you in this way. Empathize? ABSOLUTELY! That's why my friends are my friends but to truly understand how it feels to have a band that you really, really, really fucking dig & have them be for the most part queer is a feeling I can not and would not even try to put into words. I will always remember that first summer here in San Diego as the year I discovered that Brilliant American Band that America forgot. And the music? The Scissor Sisters aren't Music to me. They are My Musiqke.
Those were a few weeks in 2004.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Do yourself a favour & cut & paste these 2 clips:
It Can't Come Quickly Enough
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mq4KjGJPgjo
"It Can't Come Quickly Enough"
Sailling through the tunnels
In the morning by yourself
There's a very special feeling
True sensation all is well
If you stand and reach your arms out wide
Close your eyes and try to fly
It's an underground illusion
Tricking you from side to side
We knew all the answers
And we shouted them like anthems
Anxious and suspicious
That God knew how much we cheated
It can't come quickly enough
And now you've spent your life
Waiting for this moment
And when you finally saw it come
It passed you by and left you so defeated
Skyscrapers rise between us
Keeping me from finding you
If the concrete architecture
Dissapeared there'd be so few
Of us left to navigate and
Defend ourselves from the tide
It's an underground illusion
Tricking you from side to side
There's no indication of
What we were meant to be
Sucking up to strangers
Throwing wishes to the sea
It can't come quickly enough
And now you've spent your life
Waiting for this moment
And when you finally saw it come
It passed you by and
Left you so defeated
RETURN TO OZ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bT60Nyk7XHk
"Return To Oz"
Once there was a man
who had a little too much time on his hands
he never stopped to think that he was getting older.
When his night came to an end
He tried to grasp for his last friend and pretend
That he could wish himself health on a four-leaf clover
He said is this the return to Oz?
The grass is dead, the gold is brown and the sky has claws
There's a wind-up man walking round and round
What once was Emerald City is now a crystal town
Its three o' clock in the morning
You get a phone call from the queen with a hundred heads
She says that they're all dead
She tried the last one on
It couldn't speak, fell off
And now she just wanders the halls
Thinking nothing, thinking nothing at all
She says is this the return to Oz?
The grass is dead, the gold is brown and the sky has claws
There's a wind-up man walking round and round
What once was Emerald City is now a crystal town
The wheelies are cutting pavement
and the Skeksis at the rave meant
to hide deep inside
their sunken faces
and their wild, rolling eyes
But their callous words reveal
That they can no longer feel
Love or sex appeal
The patchwork girl has come to cinch the deal
To return to Oz we've fled the world
With smiles and clenching jaws
Please help me friend from coming down
I've lost my place and now it can't be found
Is this the return to Oz?
The grass is dead, the gold is brown and the sky has claws
There's a wind-up man walking round and round
What once was Emerald City is now a crystal town
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